Contents

 

As You Like It

by William Shakespeare

Easiest-to-Read Edition

 

 

 

As You Like It



As You Like It Easiest-to-Read Edition

Table of Contents

Act 1. Scene 1. Orchard of Oliver’s house. 3

Act 1. Scene 2. Lawn before the Duke’s palace. 11

Act 1. Scene 3. A room in the palace. 29

Act 2. Scene 1. The Forest of Arden. 39

Act 2. Scene 2. A room in the palace. 43

Act 2. Scene 3. Before Oliver’s house. 45

Act 2. Scene 4. The Forest of Arden. 50

Act 2. Scene 5. The Forest of Arden. 56

Act 2. Scene 6. The Forest of Arden. 60

Act 2. Scene 7. The Forest of Arden. 61

Act 3. Scene 1. A room in the palace. 73

Act 3. Scene 2. The forest 75

Act 3. Scene 3. The forest 98

Act 3. Scene 4. The forest 104

Act 3. Scene 5. The forest 108

Act 4. Scene 1. The forest 116

Act 4. Scene 2. The forest 128

Act 4. Scene 3. The forest 130

Act 5. Scene 1. The forest 142

Act 5. Scene 2. The forest 147

Act 5. Scene 3. The forest 154

Act 5. Scene 4. The forest 157

 


 

Act 1. Scene 1. Orchard of Oliver’s house

 

 

Enter ORLANDO and ADAM

 

ORLANDO (in conversation when the scene opens)

As I remember, Adam, it was upon this fashion bequeathed me by will but poor a thousand crowns (only a poor thousand crowns), and, as thou sayest, charged (commanded) my brother on his blessing (as a condition of his blessing) to breed me (bring me up) well. And there begins my sadness. My brother Jaques he keeps at school, and report speaks goldenly of his profit (success). For my part, he keeps me rustically at home or, to speak more properly, stays (keeps) me here at home unkept (uncared for), for call you that “keeping” for a gentleman of my birth that differs not from the stalling (putting into a stall) of an ox? His horses are bred (cared for) better, for, besides that they are fair with their feeding (kept handsome by good diet), they are taught their manage (trained) and, to that end, riders dearly (expensively) hired, but I, his brother, gain nothing under him but growth, for the which his animals on his dunghills are as much bound to him as I. Besides this nothing that he so plentifully gives me, the something that nature gave me his countenance (parenting style) seems to take from me. He lets me feed with his hinds (servants), bars me the place of a brother, and, as much as in him lies, [under]mines my gentility with my [lack of] education. This is it, Adam, that grieves me, and the spirit of my father, which I think is within me, begins to mutiny against this servitude. I will no longer endure it, though yet I know no wise remedy how to avoid it.

Enter OLIVER

 

ADAM

Yonder comes my master, your brother.

 

ORLANDO

Go apart, Adam, and thou shalt hear how he will shake me up (abuses me).

 

OLIVER

Now, sir, what make you here (what are you doing here)?

 

ORLANDO

Nothing. I am not taught to make anything.

 

OLIVER

What mar you then, sir?

 

ORLANDO

Marry (by the Virgin Mary), sir, I am helping you to mar that which God made, a poor, unworthy brother of yours, with idleness.

 

OLIVER

Marry, sir, be better employed, and be naught (out of sight) awhile.

 

ORLANDO

Shall I keep your hogs and eat husks with them? What prodigal portion have I spent that I should come to such penury?

 

OLIVER

Know you where you are, sir?

 

ORLANDO

O sir, very well: here in your orchard (garden).

 

OLIVER

Know you before whom, sir?

 

ORLANDO

Ay, better than him I am before knows me. I know you are my eldest brother, and, in the gentle (gentlemanly) condition of blood (blood relation), you should so know me. The courtesy of nations (tradition) allows you my better, in that you are the first-born, but the same tradition takes not away my blood, were there twenty brothers betwixt us. I have as much of my father in me as you, albeit, I confess, your coming (being born) before me is nearer to his reverence (caring).

 

OLIVER

What, boy! (strikes him)

 

ORLANDO

Come, come, elder brother, you are too young (inexperienced) in this. (seizes him)

 

OLIVER

Wilt thou lay hands on me, villain (scoundrel)?

 

ORLANDO

I am no villain. I am the youngest son of Sir Rowland de Boys. He was my father, and he is thrice a villain that says such a father begot villains. Wert thou not my brother, I would not take this hand from thy throat till this other had pulled out thy tongue for saying so. Thou hast railed on (denounced) thyself.

 

ADAM

Sweet masters, be patient. For your father’s remembrance (in memory of your father), be at accord (in harmony).

 

OLIVER

Let me go, I say.

 

ORLANDO

I will not till I please. You shall hear me. My father charged you in his will to give me good education. You have trained me like a peasant, obscuring and hiding from me all gentlemanlike qualities. The spirit of my father grows strong in me, and I will no longer endure it. Therefore, allow me such exercises [such as riding and fencing] as may become a gentleman, or give me the poor allottery (share) my father left me by testament (his will). With that I will go buy my fortunes.

[He releases Oliver.]

 

OLIVER

And what wilt thou do? Beg, when that is spent? Well, sir, get you in. I will not long be troubled with you. You shall have some part of your will. I pray you leave me.
(what wilt thou do when that is spent? Beg?)

 

ORLANDO

I will no further offend you than becomes me for my good.

 

OLIVER

(to ADAM) Get you with him, you old dog.

 

ADAM

Is “old dog” my reward? Most true, I have lost my teeth in your service. God be with my old master. He would not have spoke such a word.

Exeunt ORLANDO and ADAM

 

OLIVER

Is it even so? Begin you to grow upon (challenge) me? I will physic (flush out) your rankness (insolence) and yet give no thousand crowns neither.—Holla, Dennis!

Enter DENNIS

 

DENNIS

Calls Your Worship?

 

OLIVER

Was not Charles, the Duke’s wrestler, here to speak with me?

 

DENNIS

So please you, he is here at the door and importunes access to you.

 

OLIVER

Call him in.

Exit DENNIS

'Twill be a good way [to get rid of Orlando], and tomorrow the wrestling is.

Enter CHARLES

 

CHARLES

Good morrow (morning) to your Worship.

 

OLIVER

Good Monsieur Charles, what’s the new news at the new court?

 

CHARLES

There’s no news at the court, sir, but the old news. That is, the old Duke is banished by his younger brother the new Duke, and three or four loving lords have put themselves into voluntary exile with him, whose lands and revenues enrich the new Duke. Therefore, he gives them good leave to wander.

 

OLIVER

Can you tell if Rosalind, the Duke’s daughter, be banished with her father?

 

CHARLES

Oh, no, for the Duke’s daughter her cousin (Celia) so loves her, being ever from their cradles bred together, that she would have followed [into] her exile or have died to stay behind her. She (Rosalind) is at the court and no less beloved of her uncle than his own daughter, and never two ladies loved as they do.

 

OLIVER

Where will the old Duke live?

 

CHARLES

They say he is already in the Forest of Arden and a many merry men with him, and there they live like the old Robin Hood of England. They say many young gentlemen flock to him every day and fleet the time carelessly (free from cares), as they did in the golden world (concept of innocent happiness from ancient writings).

 

OLIVER

What (used in Shakespeare’s time to introduce a question), you wrestle tomorrow before the new Duke?

 

CHARLES

Marry, do I, sir, and I came to acquaint you with a matter. I am given, sir, secretly to understand that your younger brother Orlando hath a disposition to come in, disguised, against me to try [for] a fall [in which the opponent falls on his back]. Tomorrow, sir, I wrestle for my credit, and he that escapes me without some broken limb shall acquit him[self] well. Your brother is but young and tender, and, for your love, I would be loath to foil (throw) him, as I must for my own honor if he come in. Therefore, out of my love to you, I came hither to acquaint you withal (with this), that either you might stay him from his intendment (intention) or brook (endure) such disgrace well as he shall run into, in that it is a thing of his own search (seeking) and altogether against my will.

 

OLIVER

Charles, I thank thee for thy love to me, which thou shalt find I will most kindly requite. I had myself notice of my brother’s purpose herein and have by underhand[ed] means labored to dissuade him from it, but he is resolute. I’ll tell thee, Charles: it is the stubbornest young fellow of France, full of ambition, an envious emulator of every man’s good parts, a secret and villainous contriver against me his natural (related by blood) brother. Therefore, use thy discretion. I had as lief (soon) thou didst break his neck as his finger, and thou wert best look to ’t (be wary), for if thou dost him any slight disgrace or if he do not mightily grace himself on thee (get the better of you), he will practice against thee by poison, entrap thee by some treacherous device, and never leave thee till he hath ta'en thy life by some indirect means or other, for I assure thee—and almost with tears I speak it—there is not one so young and so villainous this day living. I speak but brotherly of him, but should I anatomize him to thee as he is, I must blush and weep, and thou must look pale and wonder.

 

CHARLES

I am heartily glad I came hither to you. If he come tomorrow, I’ll give him his payment. If ever he go alone again, I’ll never wrestle for prize more, and so God keep your Worship.

 

OLIVER

Farewell, good Charles.

Exit CHARLES

Now will I stir this gamester (Orlando). I hope I shall see an end of him, for my soul—yet I know not why—hates nothing more than he. Yet he’s gentle, never schooled, and yet learned, full of noble device (outlook), of all sorts (ranks of people) enchantingly beloved, and, indeed, so much in the heart of the world and especially of my own people, who best know him, that I am altogether misprized (appearing to be in the wrong), but it shall not be so long - this wrestler shall clear all. Nothing remains but that I kindle (stir up) the boy thither (to go away), which now I’ll go about.

Exit


 

Act 1. Scene 2. Lawn before the Duke’s palace

 

Enter CELIA and ROSALIND

 

CELIA

I pray thee, Rosalind, sweet my coz, be merry.

 

ROSALIND

Dear Celia, I show more mirth than I am mistress (owner) of, and would you yet I were merrier? Unless you could teach me to forget a banished father, you must not learn (teach) me how to remember any extraordinary pleasure (how to be happier).

 

CELIA

Herein I see thou lov’st me not with the full weight that I love thee. If my uncle, thy banished father, had banished thy uncle, the Duke my father, so [that] thou hadst been still (always) with me, I could have taught my love to take thy father for mine. So wouldst thou, if the truth of thy love to me were so righteously tempered (brought to the right balance) as mine is to thee.

 

ROSALIND

Well, I will forget the condition of my estate to rejoice in yours.

 

CELIA

You know my father hath no child but I (me), nor none is like to have, and, truly, when he dies, thou shalt be his heir, for what he hath taken away from thy father perforce, I will render thee again in affection. By mine honor I will, and when I break that oath, let me turn monster. Therefore, my sweet Rose, my dear Rose, be merry.

 

ROSALIND

From henceforth I will, coz, and devise sports. Let me see—what think you of falling in love?

 

CELIA

Marry, I prithee do, to make sport withal, but love no man in good earnest, nor no further in sport neither than with safety of a pure blush thou mayst in honor come off (detach yourself) again.
(double negatives are common in Shakespeare)

 

ROSALIND

What shall be our sport [instead], then?

 

CELIA

Let us sit and mock the good housewife Fortune from her [spinning] wheel [so] that her gifts may henceforth be bestowed equally.
(the wheel of Fortune has its ups and downs, which should be bestowed equally to men and women)

 

ROSALIND

I would we could do so, for her benefits are mightily misplaced (awarded to the wrong people), and the bountiful blind woman doth most mistake in her gifts to women.

 

CELIA

'Tis true, for those (women) that she makes fair (of light complexion) she scarce (seldom) makes honest (chaste), and those that she makes honest she makes very ill-favoredly (unattractive).

 

ROSALIND

Nay, now thou goest from Fortune’s office to Nature’s.
(you mix up the two)

Fortune reigns in gifts of the world, not in the lineaments (characteristics) of

Nature.

Enter TOUCHSTONE

 

CELIA

No? When Nature hath made a fair creature, may she not by Fortune fall into the fire? Though Nature hath given us wit to flout (scoff) at Fortune, hath not Fortune sent in this fool to cut off the argument?

 

ROSALIND

Indeed, there is Fortune too hard (clever) for Nature, when Fortune makes Nature’s “natural” (fool) the cutter-off of Nature’s wit.

 

CELIA

Peradventure (perhaps), this is not Fortune’s work neither (either) but Nature’s, who perceiveth our natural wits too dull to reason of such goddesses (Fortune and Nature) and hath sent this “natural” for our whetstone, for always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits. How now, wit, whither wander you?
whetstone=block of grit for sharpening knives

 

TOUCHSTONE

Mistress, you must come away to your father.

 

CELIA

Were you made the messenger?

 

TOUCHSTONE

No, by mine honor, but I was bid to come for you.

 

ROSALIND

Where learned you that oath (“by mine honor”), fool?

 

TOUCHSTONE

Of a certain knight that swore by his honor they were good pancakes and swore by his honor the mustard was naught (worthless). Now, I’ll stand to it, the pancakes were naught and the mustard was good, and yet was not the knight forsworn.
(the knight was not lying)

 

CELIA

How prove you that in the great heap of your knowledge?

 

ROSALIND

Ay, marry, now unmuzzle your wisdom.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Stand you both forth now - stroke your chins and swear by your beards that I am a knave.

 

CELIA

By our beards (if we had them), thou art.

 

TOUCHSTONE

By my knavery (if I had it), then I were. But if you swear by that that is not, you are not forsworn. No more was this knight swearing by his honor, for he never had any or, if he had, he had sworn it away before ever he saw those pancakes or that mustard.

 

CELIA

Prithee, who is ’t that thou mean’st?

 

TOUCHSTONE

One that old Frederick, your father, loves.

 

CELIA

My father’s love is enough to honor him. Enough. Speak no more of him; you’ll be whipped for taxation (slander) one of these days.

 

TOUCHSTONE

The more pity that fools may not speak wisely [about] what wise men do foolishly.

 

CELIA

By my troth, thou sayest true. For, since the little wit that fools have was silenced, the little foolery that wise men have makes a great show. Here comes Monsieur Le Beau.
(silenced – the church authorities had rights of censorship)

Enter LE BEAU

 

ROSALIND

With his mouth full of news.

 

CELIA

Which he will put on us (shove down our throats) as pigeons feed their young.

 

ROSALIND

Then shall we be news-crammed.

 

CELIA

All the better. We shall be the more marketable [because heavier].—Bonjour,

Monsieur Le Beau. What’s the news?

 

LE BEAU

Fair princess, you have lost [seeing] much good sport.

 

CELIA

Sport? Of what color (kind)?

 

LE BEAU

What color, madam? How shall I answer you?

 

ROSALIND

As wit and fortune (luck) will.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Or as the Destinies decree.

 

CELIA

Well said. That was laid on with a trowel.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Nay, if I keep not my rank—
(rank means both social standing and, also, foul smell)

 

ROSALIND

Thou losest thy old smell.

 

LE BEAU

You amaze me, ladies. I would have told you of good wrestling, which you have lost the sight of.

 

ROSALIND

You tell us the manner of the wrestling.

 

LE BEAU

I will tell you the beginning, and, if it please your ladyships, you may see the end, for the best is yet to do, and here, where you are, they are coming to perform it.

 

CELIA

Well, the beginning that is dead and buried.

 

LE BEAU

There comes an old man and his three sons—

 

CELIA

I could match this beginning with an old tale.

 

LE BEAU

Three proper young men of excellent growth and presence.

 

ROSALIND

With bills on their necks [for getting paid for the presents]: “Be it known unto all men by these presents.”

 

LE BEAU

The eldest of the three wrestled with Charles (the Duke’s wrestler), which (the eldest) Charles in a moment threw him and broke three of his ribs, [so] that there is little hope of life in him. So he served the second and so the third. Yonder they lie, the poor old man their father making such pitiful dole (grief) over them that all the beholders take his part with weeping.

 

ROSALIND

Alas!

 

TOUCHSTONE

But what is the sport, monsieur, that the ladies have lost?

 

LE BEAU

Why, this that I speak of.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Thus men may grow wiser every day. It is the first time that ever I heard breaking of ribs was sport for ladies.

 

CELIA

Or I, I promise thee.

 

ROSALIND

But is there any[one] else longs to see this broken music (wheezing) in his sides? Is there yet another dotes upon rib-breaking? Shall we see this wrestling, cousin?
(“cousin” in Shakespeare’s day referred to almost any relative or close friend)

 

LE BEAU

You must if you stay here, for here is the place appointed for the wrestling, and they are ready to perform it.

 

CELIA

Yonder sure they are coming. Let us now stay and see it.

Flourish. Enter DUKE FREDERICK, lords, ORLANDOCHARLES, and attendants

 

DUKE FREDERICK

Come on. Since the youth will not be entreated (reasoned with), his own peril on his forwardness.
(his peril for his stubbornness is his own responsibility)

 

ROSALIND

Is yonder the man?

 

LE BEAU

Even he, madam.

 

CELIA

Alas, he is too young. Yet, he looks successfully (capable).

 

DUKE FREDERICK

How now, daughter and cousin? Are you crept hither to see the wrestling?

 

ROSALIND

Ay, my liege, so please you give us leave (allow).

 

DUKE FREDERICK

You will take little delight in it, I can tell you, there is such odds in the man. In pity of the challenger’s youth, I would fain dissuade him, but he will not be entreated. Speak to him, ladies. See if you can move him.

 

CELIA

Call him hither, good Monsieur Le Beau.

 

DUKE FREDERICK

Do so. I’ll not be by (I’ll make myself scarce).

He steps aside.

 

LE BEAU

Monsieur the challenger, the Princess calls for you.

 

ORLANDO

I attend them with all respect and duty.

 

ROSALIND

Young man, have you challenged Charles the wrestler?

 

ORLANDO

No, fair princess. He is the general challenger. I come but in as others do, to try with him the strength of my youth.

 

CELIA

Young gentleman, your spirits are too bold for your years. You have seen cruel proof of this man’s strength. If you saw yourself with your eyes or knew yourself with your judgment, the fear of your adventure would counsel you to a more equal enterprise. We pray you for your own sake to embrace your own safety and give over this attempt.

 

ROSALIND

Do, young sir. Your reputation shall not, therefore, be misprized (damaged). We will make it our suit to the Duke that the wrestling might not go forward.

 

ORLANDO

I beseech you, punish me not with your hard thoughts, wherein I confess me (myself) much (very) guilty to deny so fair and excellent ladies anything. But let your fair eyes and gentle wishes go with me to my trial, wherein, if I be foiled (defeated), there is but one shamed that was never gracious; if killed, but one dead that was willing to be so. I shall do my friends no wrong, for I have none to lament me, the world no injury, for in it I have nothing. Only in the world I fill up a place which may be better supplied when I have made it empty.
(I only fill up a place in the world)

 

ROSALIND

The little strength that I have, I would it were with you.

 

CELIA

And mine, to eke out (supplement) hers.

 

ROSALIND

Fare you well. Pray heaven I be deceived in you (I underestimate you).

 

CELIA

Your heart’s desires be with you.

 

CHARLES

Come, where is this young gallant that is so desirous to lie with his mother earth?

 

ORLANDO

Ready, sir, but his will (ambition) hath in it a more modest working.

 

DUKE FREDERICK

You shall try but one fall (one bout).

 

CHARLES

No, I warrant your Grace you shall not entreat him to a second that have so mightily persuaded (tried to persuade) him from a first.

 

ORLANDO

You mean to mock me after, you should not have mocked me before. But come your ways.
(“Do not triumph before the victory”)

 

ROSALIND

Now Hercules be thy speed, young man!
Hercules=hero known for exceptional strength

 

CELIA

I would I were invisible, to catch the strong fellow by the leg.

 

CELIA

I would I were invisible [in order] to catch the strong fellow (Charles) by the leg.

They wrestle

 

ROSALIND

O excellent young man!

 

CELIA

If I had a thunderbolt [to shoot from] in mine eye, I can tell who should [be] down.

CHARLES is thrown. Shout.

 

DUKE FREDERICK

No more, no more.

 

ORLANDO

Yes, I beseech your Grace. I am not yet well breathed (warmed up).

 

DUKE FREDERICK

How dost thou, Charles?

 

LE BEAU

He cannot speak, my lord.

 

DUKE FREDERICK

Bear him away. What is thy name, young man?

 

ORLANDO

Orlando, my liege, the youngest son of Sir Rowland de Boys.

 

DUKE FREDERICK

I would thou hadst been son to some man else.

The world esteemed thy father honorable,

But I did find him still mine enemy.

Thou shouldst have better pleased me with this deed

Hadst thou descended from another house (family).

But fare thee well. Thou art a gallant youth.

I would thou hadst told me of another father.

Exeunt DUKE FREDERICK, train, and LE BEAU

 

CELIA

Were I my father, coz, would I do this?

 

ORLANDO (aside)

I am more proud to be Sir Rowland’s son,

His youngest son, and would not change that calling

To be adopted heir to Frederick.

 

ROSALIND

My father loved Sir Rowland as his soul,

And all the world was of my father’s mind.

Had I before known this young man his son,

I should have given him (added) tears unto entreaties

Ere he should thus have ventured (before he began to fight).

 

CELIA

Gentle cousin,

Let us go thank him and encourage him.

My father’s rough and envious disposition

Sticks (stabs) me at heart.— (to Orlando) Sir, you have well deserved.

If you do keep your promises in love

(But justly, as you have exceeded all promise),

Your mistress shall be happy.
(your wife shall be a happy woman)

 

ROSALIND

Gentleman,

(giving him a chain from her neck)

Wear this for me—one out of suits (favor) with fortune

That could (would) give more but that her hand lacks means.

—Shall we go, coz?

 

CELIA

Ay.—Fare you well, fair gentleman.

 

ORLANDO (to himself)

Can I not say “I thank you”? My better parts (attributes)

Are all thrown down, and that which here stands up

Is but a quintain (a heavy post set up in a field), a mere lifeless block.

 

ROSALIND

(to Celia) He calls us back. My pride fell with my fortunes.

I’ll ask him what he would (wants).—Did you call, sir?

Sir, you have wrestled well and overthrown

More than your enemies.

 

CELIA

Will you go, coz?

 

ROSALIND

Have with you. Fare you well.

Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA

 

ORLANDO

What passion hangs these weights upon my tongue?

I cannot speak to her, yet she urged conference.

O poor Orlando! Thou art overthrown

Or Charles or something weaker masters thee.

Enter LE BEAU

 

LE BEAU

Good sir, I do in friendship counsel you

To leave this place. Albeit (although) you have deserved

High commendation, true applause, and love,

Yet such is now the Duke’s condition

That he misconsters (misconstrues) all that you have done.

The Duke is humorous (temperamental). What he is, indeed (in reality),

More suits you to conceive than I to speak of.
(I’d better keep my thoughts to myself)

 

ORLANDO

I thank you, sir, and pray you tell me this:

Which of the two was daughter of the Duke

That here was at the wrestling?

 

LE BEAU

Neither [is] his daughter, if we judge by manners,

But, yet, indeed, the smaller is his daughter.

The other is daughter to the banished Duke

And [is] here detained by her usurping uncle

To keep his daughter company, whose loves
(the loves of whom)

Are dearer than the natural bond of sisters,

But I can tell you that of late this Duke

Hath ta'en displeasure 'gainst his gentle niece,

Grounded upon no other argument

But that the people praise her for her virtues

And pity her for her good father’s sake,

And, on my life, his malice 'gainst the lady

Will suddenly break forth. Sir, fare you well.

Hereafter, in a better world than this,

I shall desire more love and knowledge of you.

 

ORLANDO

I rest much bounden to you. Fare you well.

Exit LE BEAU

Thus must I from the smoke into the smother,
(“avoiding the smoke he fell into the fire”)

From tyrant Duke unto a tyrant brother.

But heavenly Rosalind!

Exit


 

Act 1. Scene 3. A room in the palace

 

Enter CELIA and ROSALIND

 

CELIA

Why, cousin! Why, Rosalind! Cupid have mercy, not a word?

 

ROSALIND

Not one to throw at a dog.
(“he has not a stone to throw at a dog”)

 

CELIA

No, thy words are too precious to be cast away upon curs.

Throw some of them at me. Come, lame me with reasons (common sense).

 

ROSALIND

Then there were two cousins laid up, when the one should be lamed with reasons and the other mad (insane) without any.

 

CELIA

But is all this for your father?

 

ROSALIND

No, some of it is for my child’s father. Oh, how full of briers is this working-day world!

 

CELIA

They are but burs, cousin, thrown upon thee in holiday foolery. If we walk not in the trodden paths our very petticoats will catch them.

 

ROSALIND

I could shake them off my [petti]coat. These burs are in my heart.

 

CELIA

[a]Hem them away.

 

ROSALIND

I would try, if I could cry “hem” and have him.

 

CELIA

Come, come, wrestle with thy affections.

 

ROSALIND

Oh, they take the part of a better wrestler than myself.

 

CELIA

Oh, a good wish upon you. You will try in time, in despite of a fall (falling in love), but, turning these jests out of service, let us talk in good earnest. Is it possible on such a sudden you should fall into so strong a liking with old Sir Rowland’s youngest son?

 

ROSALIND

The Duke my father loved his father dearly.

 

CELIA

Doth it therefore ensue that you should love his son dearly? By this kind of chase I should hate him, for my father hated his father dearly. Yet I hate not Orlando.

 

ROSALIND

No, faith, hate him not, for my sake.

 

CELIA

Why should I not? Doth he not deserve well?

 

ROSALIND

Let me love him for that, and do you love him because I do.

Look, here comes the Duke.

Enter DUKE FREDERICK with lords

 

CELIA

With his eyes full of anger.

 

DUKE FREDERICK

Mistress, dispatch you with your safest haste,

And get you from our court.

 

ROSALIND

Me, uncle?

 

DUKE FREDERICK

You, cousin.

Within these ten days if that thou beest found

So near our public court as twenty miles,

Thou diest for it.

 

ROSALIND

I do beseech your Grace,

Let me the knowledge of my fault bear with me.
(let me bear . . .)

If with myself I hold intelligence
hold intelligence=communicate

Or have acquaintance with mine own desires,

If that I do not dream or be not frantic (crazy)—

As I do trust I am not—then, dear uncle,

Never so much as in a thought unborn

Did I offend your Highness.

 

DUKE FREDERICK

Thus do all traitors.

If their purgation did consist in words,
purgation=purging of guilt

They are as innocent as grace itself.

Let it suffice thee that I trust thee not.

 

ROSALIND

Yet your mistrust cannot make me a traitor.

Tell me whereon the likelihood depends.

 

DUKE FREDERICK

Thou art thy father’s daughter. There’s enough.

 

ROSALIND

So was I when your Highness took his dukedom.

So was I when your Highness banished him.

Treason is not inherited, my lord,

Or if we did derive it from our friends,

What’s that to me? My father was no traitor.

Then, good my liege, mistake me not so much

To think my poverty is treacherous.

 

CELIA

Dear sovereign, hear me speak.

 

DUKE FREDERICK

Ay, Celia, we stayed her (allowed her to stay here) for your sake,

Else had she with her father ranged along (been banished).

 

CELIA

I did not then entreat to have her stay.

It was your pleasure and your own remorse.

I was too young that time to value her,

But now I know her. If she be a traitor,

Why so am I. We still (always) have slept together,

Rose at an (the same) instant, learned, played, eat together,

And, wheresoe'er we went, like Juno’s swans

Still (always) we went coupled and inseparable.

 

DUKE FREDERICK

She is too subtle for thee, and her smoothness,

Her very silence, and her patience

Speak to the people, and they pity her.

Thou art a fool. She robs thee of thy name,

And thou wilt show more bright and seem more virtuous

When she is gone. Then, open not thy lips.

Firm and irrevocable is my doom

Which I have passed upon her. She is banished.

 

CELIA

Pronounce that sentence then on me, my liege.

I cannot live out of her company.

 

DUKE FREDERICK

You are a fool.—You, niece, provide yourself (make preparations to leave).

If you outstay the time, upon mine honor

And in the greatness of my word, you die.

DUKE FREDERICK and lords exit.

 

CELIA

O my poor Rosalind, whither wilt thou go?

Wilt thou change fathers? I will give thee mine.

I charge thee, be not thou more grieved than I am.

 

ROSALIND

I have more cause.

 

CELIA

Thou hast not, cousin.

Prithee, be cheerful. Know’st thou not the Duke

Hath banished me, his daughter?

 

ROSALIND

That he hath not.

 

CELIA

No, hath not? Rosalind lacks then the love

Which teacheth thee that thou and I am one.

Shall we be sundered? Shall we part, sweet girl?

No, let my father seek another heir.

Therefore, devise with me how we may fly,

Whither to go, and what to bear with us,

And do not seek to take your change upon you [alone],

To bear your griefs yourself and leave me out,

For, by this heaven, now at our sorrows pale,
(heaven is pale in sympathy with our sorrows)

Say what thou canst, I’ll go along with thee.

 

ROSALIND

Why, whither shall we go?

 

CELIA

To seek my uncle in the Forest of Arden.

 

ROSALIND

Alas, what danger will it be to us,

Maids as we are, to travel forth so far?

Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold.

 

CELIA

I’ll put myself in poor and mean (ragged) attire

And with a kind of umber smirch my face.

The like do you. So shall we pass along

And never stir assailants.

 

ROSALIND

Were it not better,

Because that I am more than common tall,

That I did suit me all points (in all ways) like a man?

A gallant curtal-axe (cutlass) upon my thigh,

A boar-spear (spear for hunting boars) in my hand, and in my heart,

Lie there what hidden woman’s fear there will,

We’ll have a swashing (swaggering) and a martial outside—

As many other mannish cowards have

That do “outface it” with their semblances (appearance).

 

CELIA

What shall I call thee when thou art a man?

 

ROSALIND

I’ll have no worse a name than Jove’s own page,

And, therefore, look (see that) you call me Ganymede.

But what will you be called?

 

CELIA

Something that hath a reference to my state:

No longer Celia but Aliena.

 

ROSALIND

But, cousin, what if we assayed (tried) to steal

The clownish fool out of your father’s court?

Would he not be a comfort to our travel?

 

CELIA

He’ll go along o'er the wide world with me.

Leave me alone to woo him. Let’s away

And get our jewels and our wealth together,

Devise the fittest time and safest way

To hide us from pursuit that will be made

After my flight. Now go we in content (contentedly)

To liberty and not to banishment.

Exeunt


 

Act 2. Scene 1. The Forest of Arden

 

Enter DUKE SENIORAMIENS, and two or three LORDS, [dressed] like foresters

 

DUKE SENIOR

Now, my co-mates and brothers in exile,

Hath not old custom (habits of their former life) made this life more sweet

Than that of painted pomp? Are not these woods

More free from peril than the envious court?

Here feel we not the penalty of Adam,
(Adam’s disobedience to God came after Adam and Eve’s enjoyment of the Garden of Eden)

The seasons' difference, as the icy fang

And churlish (rough) chiding of the winter’s wind,

[about] Which, when it bites and blows upon my body,

Even till I shrink with cold, I smile and say,

“This is no flattery. These are counselors

That feelingly persuade me what I am.”

Sweet are the uses of adversity,

Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous,

Wears yet a precious jewel (healing substance) in his head,
(this was a superstition in Shakespeare’s day)

And this our life, exempt from public haunt,

Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,

Sermons in stones, and good in everything.

 

AMIENS

I would not change it. Happy is your Grace,

That (who) can translate the stubbornness of fortune

Into so quiet and so sweet a style.

 

DUKE SENIOR

Come, shall we go and kill us venison?

And yet it irks me the poor dappled (spotted) fools,

Being native burghers (inhabitants) of this desert city,
desert=not occupied

Should in their own confines with forked heads (antlers like arrow heads)

Have their round haunches gored [with arrows].

 

FIRST LORD

Indeed, my lord,

The melancholy Jaques grieves at that
(Jaques pronounced jay-kees)

And in that kind (accordingly) swears you do more usurp

Than doth your brother that hath banished you.

Today my Lord of Amiens and myself

Did steal behind him as he lay along

Under an oak, whose antique root peeps out

Upon the brook that brawls along this wood,

To the which place a poor sequestered stag

That from the hunter’s aim had ta'en a hurt

Did come to languish, and, indeed, my lord,

The wretched animal heaved forth such groans

That their discharge did stretch his leathern coat

Almost to bursting, and the big round tears

Coursed one another down his innocent nose

In piteous chase, and, thus, the hairy fool,

Much marked of (observed by) the melancholy Jaques,

Stood on th' extremest verge of the swift brook,

Augmenting it with tears.

DUKE SENIOR

But what said Jaques?

Did he not moralize [derive lessons from] this spectacle?

 

FIRST LORD

Oh, yes, into a thousand similes.

First, for his weeping into the needless stream.

“Poor deer,” quoth he, “thou mak’st a testament (will)

As worldlings do, giving [in your will] thy sum of more

To that which had too much.” Then, being there alone,

Left and abandoned of his velvet friends,

'Tis right,” quoth he. “Thus misery doth part [from]

The flux (coming and going) of company.” Anon (soon) a careless (carefree) herd,

Full of the pasture, jumps along by him

And never stays to greet him. “Ay,” quoth Jaques,

“Sweep on, you fat and greasy citizens.

'Tis just the fashion (you’re just going along). Wherefore (why) do you look

Upon that poor and broken bankrupt there?”
(Shakespeare’s father had been bankrupt)

Thus most invectively (passionately) he pierceth through

The body of the country, city, court,

Yea, and of this our life, swearing that we

Are mere usurpers, tyrants, and, what’s worse,

To fright the animals and to kill them up

In their assigned and native dwelling place.

 

DUKE SENIOR

And did you leave him in this contemplation?

 

SECOND LORD

We did, my lord, weeping and commenting

Upon the sobbing deer.

 

DUKE SENIOR

Show me the place.

I love to cope him in these sullen fits,

For then he’s full of matter.

 

FIRST LORD

I’ll bring you to him straight.

Exeunt


 

Act 2. Scene 2. A room in the palace

 

Enter DUKE FREDERICK, with LORDS

 

DUKE FREDERICK

Can it be possible that no man saw them?

It cannot be. Some villains of my court

Are of consent and sufferance (acquiescence) in this.

 

FIRST LORD

I cannot hear of any that did see her.

The ladies, her attendants of her chamber,

Saw her abed, and in the morning early

They found the bed untreasured of their mistress.

 

SECOND LORD

My lord, the roynish (coarse) clown, at whom so oft

Your Grace was wont to laugh, is also missing.

Hisperia, the Princess' gentlewoman,

Confesses that she secretly o'erheard

Your daughter and her cousin much commend

The parts and graces of the wrestler

That did but lately foil (defeat) the sinewy Charles,

And she believes, wherever they are gone,

That youth is surely in their company.

 

DUKE FREDERICK

Send to his brother (Oliver) [to] fetch that gallant (Orlando) hither.

If he (Orlando) be absent, bring his brother to me.

I’ll make him find him. Do this suddenly,

And let not search and inquisition quail (slacken)

To bring again these foolish runaways.

Exeunt


 

Act 2. Scene 3. Before Oliver’s house

 

Enter ORLANDO and ADAM, meeting

 

ORLANDO

Who’s there?

 

ADAM

What, my young master, O my gentle (gentlemanly) master,

O my sweet master, O you memory

Of old Sir Rowland! Why, what make you here?

Why are you virtuous? Why do people love you?

And wherefore (why) are you gentle, strong, and valiant?

Why would you be so fond to overcome

The bonny (strapping) prizer (prize fighter) of the humorous (moody) Duke?

Your praise is come too swiftly home before you.

Know you not, master, to some kind of men

Their graces serve them but as enemies?

No more do yours. Your virtues, gentle master,

Are sanctified (deceiving) and holy (full of holes) traitors to you.

Oh, what a world is this when what is comely (good looking)

Envenoms him that bears it!

 

ORLANDO

Why, what’s the matter?

 

ADAM

O unhappy youth,

Come not within these doors. Within this roof

The enemy of all your graces lives.

Your brother—no, no brother—yet the son—

Yet not the son, I will not call him son—

Of him I was about to call his father

Hath heard your praises, and this night he means

To burn the lodging where you used to lie

And you within it. If he fail of that,

He will have other means to cut you off.

I overheard him and his practices (schemes).

This is no place, this house is but a butchery.

Abhor it, fear it, do not enter it.

 

ORLANDO

Why, whither, Adam, wouldst thou have me go?

 

ADAM

No matter whither, so you come not here.

 

ORLANDO

What! Wouldst thou have me go and beg my food,

Or with a base and boist'rous sword enforce

A thievish living on the common road?

This I must do, or know not what to do.

Yet, this I will not do, do how I can.

I rather will subject me to the malice

Of a diverted (deviant) blood and bloody brother.

 

 

ADAM

But do not so. I have five hundred crowns,

The thrifty hire (earnings) I saved under your father,

Which I did store (saved up) to be my foster nurse

When service should in my old limbs lie lame

And unregarded age in corners thrown.

Take that, and He that doth the ravens feed,

Yea, providently caters for the sparrow,

Be comfort to my age. Here is the gold.

All this I give you. Let me be your servant.

Though I look old, yet I am strong and lusty (vigorous),

For in my youth I never did apply

Hot and rebellious liquors in my blood

Nor did not with unbashful forehead (shameless audacity) woo
(nor . . . not – double negative, common in Shakespeare)

The means of weakness and debility.

Therefore, my age is, as a lusty winter,

Frosty but kindly. Let me go with you.

I’ll do the service of a younger man

In all your business and necessities.

 

ORLANDO

O good old man, how well in thee appears

The constant service of the antique world,

When service sweat for duty, not for meed.

Thou art not for the fashion of these times,

Where none will sweat but for promotion,

And, having that, do choke their service up (rein it in)

Even with the having. It is not so with thee,

But, poor old man, thou prun’st a rotten tree

That cannot so much as a blossom yield

In lieu of (in return for) all thy pains and husbandry (domestic management).

But come thy ways. We’ll go along together,

And, ere we have thy youthful wages spent,

We’ll light upon some settled low content (humble contentment).

 

ADAM

Master, go on, and I will follow thee

To the last gasp, with truth and loyalty.

From seventeen years [old] till now almost fourscore

Here livèd I but now live here no more.

At seventeen years, many their fortunes seek,

But, at fourscore, it is too late [by] a week.
(from a proverb “a week too late at the fair”)

Yet, fortune cannot recompense me better

Than to die well and not [be] my master’s debtor.

Exeunt


 

Act 2. Scene 4. The Forest of Arden

 

Enter ROSALIND dressed as Ganymede, CELIA dressed as Aliena, and TOUCHSTONE

 

ROSALIND

O Jupiter, how weary are my spirits!

 

TOUCHSTONE

I care not for my spirits, if my legs were not weary.

 

ROSALIND

I could find in my heart to disgrace my man’s apparel and to cry like a woman, but I must comfort the weaker vessel, as doublet and hose (men’s apparel) ought to show itself courageous to petticoat. Therefore, courage, good Aliena.

 

CELIA

I pray you bear with me. I cannot go no further.
(double negative – common in Shakespeare)

 

TOUCHSTONE

For my part, I had rather bear with you than bear you. Yet, I should bear no cross if I did bear you, for I think you have no money in your purse.
(cross – Elizabethan coins were stamped with a cross)

 

ROSALIND

Well, this is the Forest of Arden.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Ay, now am I in Arden, the more fool I. When I was at home

I was in a better place, but travelers must be content.

 

ROSALIND

Ay, be so, good Touchstone.

Enter CORIN and SILVIUS

Look you who comes here, a young man and an old in solemn talk.

 

CORIN

That is the way to make her scorn you still.

 

SILVIUS

O Corin, that thou knew’st how I do love her!

 

CORIN

I partly guess, for I have loved ere now.

 

SILVIUS

No, Corin, being old, thou canst not guess,

Though in thy youth thou wast as true a lover

As ever sighed upon a midnight pillow.

But if thy love were ever like to mine—

As sure I think did never man love so—

How many actions most ridiculous

Hast thou been drawn to by thy fantasy?

 

CORIN

Into a thousand that I have forgotten.

 

SILVIUS

Oh, thou didst then ne'er love so heartily (sincerely – heart-felt).

If thou rememb’rest not the slightest folly

That ever love did make thee run into,

Thou hast not loved,

Or if thou hast not sat as I do now,

Wearying thy hearer in thy mistress’s praise,

Thou hast not loved,

Or if thou hast not broke from company

Abruptly, as my passion now makes me,

Thou hast not loved.

O Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe!

Exit SILVIUS

 

ROSALIND

Alas, poor shepherd, searching of thy wound (wounded heart),

I have by hard adventure (hard experience) found mine own.

 

TOUCHSTONE

And I mine. I remember when I was in love I broke my sword upon a stone and bid him take that for coming a-night to Jane Smile (a country maid), and I remember the kissing of her batler (paddle for beating butter) and the cow’s dugs that her pretty, chapped hands had milked, and I remember the wooing of a peascod (pea plant) instead of her, from whom I took two pods and, giving her them again, said with weeping tears, “Wear these for my sake.” We that are true lovers run into strange capers, but as all is mortal in nature, so is all nature in love mortal in folly.
(
the foolishness of love is mortal)

 

ROSALIND

Thou speak’st wiser than thou art ware of.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Nay, I shall ne'er be ware (aware) of mine own wit till I break my shins against it.
(“fools set stools for wise men to stumble upon”)

 

ROSALIND

Jove, Jove, this shepherd’s passion

Is much upon my fashion (like my own).

 

TOUCHSTONE

And mine, but it grows something (somewhat) stale with me.

 

CELIA

I pray you, one of you question yond man, if he for gold will give us any food. I faint almost to death.

 

TOUCHSTONE

(to CORIN) Holla, you clown!

 

ROSALIND

Peace, fool. He’s not thy kinsman.

 

CORIN

Who calls?

 

TOUCHSTONE

Your betters, sir.

 

CORIN

Else are they very wretched.
(
if they weren’t my betters, they’d be very wretched)

 

ROSALIND

Peace, I say. —Good even to you, friend.

 

CORIN

And to you, gentle (gentlemanly) sir, and to you all.

 

ROSALIND

I prithee, shepherd, if that love or gold

Can in this desert (uninhabited) place buy entertainment (hospitality)

Bring us where we may rest ourselves and feed.

Here’s a young maid with travel much oppressed

And (who) faints for succor (for want of help).

 

CORIN

Fair sir, I pity her

And wish, for her sake more than for mine own,

My fortunes were more able to relieve her,

But I am shepherd to another man

And do not shear the fleeces that I graze.

My master is of churlish (miserly) disposition

And little recks (reckons) to find the way to heaven

By doing deeds of hospitality.

Besides, his cote (cottage), his flocks, and bounds of feed (limits of pasture)

Are now on sale, and at our sheepcote (cottage) now,

By reason of his absence, there is nothing

That you will feed on, but what is, come see,

And in my voice (what I can speak for) most welcome shall you be.

 

ROSALIND

What is he that shall buy his flock and pasture?
(
who wants to buy . . .)

 

CORIN

That young swain (shepherd) that you saw here but erewhile (just now),

That (but he) little cares for buying anything.

 

ROSALIND

I pray thee, if it stand with honesty,
(
if you are honest about it)

Buy thou the cottage, pasture, and the flock,

And thou shalt have [the amount] to pay for it of (from) us.

 

CELIA

And we will mend thy wages. I like this place

And willingly could waste my time in it.

 

CORIN

Assuredly the thing is to be sold.

Go with me. If you like upon report

The soil, the profit, and this kind of life,

I will your very faithful feeder (servant) be

And buy it with your gold right suddenly.

Exeunt


 

Act 2. Scene 5. The Forest of Arden

 

Enter AMIENSJAQUES, and others

 

AMIENS

(sings)

Under the greenwood tree

Who loves to lie (dwell) with me

And turn (fashion) his merry note (singing)

Unto the sweet bird’s throat,
(to follow the singing of the sweet bird)

Come hither, come hither, come hither.
(
maybe others join the singing as a chorus)

Here shall he see

No enemy

But (except for) winter and rough weather.

 

JAQUES

More, more, I prithee, more.

 

AMIENS

It will make you melancholy, Monsieur Jaques.

 

JAQUES

I thank it (I’m glad to be melancholy). More, I prithee, more. I can suck melancholy out of a song as a weasel sucks eggs. More, I prithee, more.

 

AMIENS

My voice is ragged. I know I cannot please you.

 

JAQUES

I do not desire you to please me. I do desire you to sing.

Come, more, another stanzo. Call you 'em “stanzos”?

 

AMIENS

What you will (whatever you like), Monsieur Jaques.

 

JAQUES

Nay, I care not for their names [such as signatures on I.O.U.’s]. They owe me nothing. Will you sing?

 

AMIENS

More at your request than to please myself.

 

JAQUES

Well, then, if ever I thank any man, I’ll thank you, but that [which] they call “compliment” is like th' encounter of two dog-apes (baboons), and, when a man thanks me heartily, methinks I have given him a [mere] penny and he renders me the beggarly (insincere) thanks. Come, sing, and, you that will not, hold your tongues.

 

AMIENS

Well, I’ll end the song.—Sirs, cover (set the table) the while (in the meantime). The Duke will drink under this tree.—He hath been all this day to look you (been looking for you).

(Food and drink are set out.)
(
seen by the audience but not by Orlando and Adam)

 

JAQUES

And I have been all this day [making an effort] to avoid him. He is too disputable (argumentative) for my company. I think of as many matters as he, but I give heaven thanks and make no boast of them. Come, warble [for me], come.

 

EVERYONE

(singing)

Who doth ambition shun

And loves to live i' th' sun,

Seeking the food he eats
eats – pronounced “ets

And pleased with what he gets,

Come hither, come hither, come hither.

Here shall he see

No enemy

But winter and rough weather.

 

JAQUES

I’ll give you a verse to this note (tune) that I made yesterday in despite of my [lack of] invention.

 

AMIENS

And I’ll sing it. (taking paper from JAQUES) Thus it goes:

If it do come to pass

That any man turn ass,
turn ass=do something stupid

Leaving his wealth and ease

A stubborn will to please,
(
to please his stubborn will)

Ducdame, ducdame, ducdame (nonsense).

Here shall he see

Gross fools as he

An if (if only) he will come to me.

 

AMIENS

What’s that “ducdame”?

 

JAQUES

'Tis a Greek invocation, to call fools into a circle. I’ll go sleep if I can. If I cannot, I’ll rail against all the firstborn of Egypt [killed by the Lord except those of the Jews, who were passed over].

 

AMIENS

And I’ll go seek the Duke. His banquet is prepared.

Exeunt severally


 

Act 2. Scene 6. The Forest of Arden

 

Enter ORLANDO and ADAM

 

ADAM

Dear master, I can go no further. Oh, I die for [lack of] food. Here lie

I down and measure out my grave. Farewell, kind master.

 

ORLANDO

Why, how now, Adam? No greater heart in thee? Live a little, comfort a little, cheer thyself a little. If this uncouth (desolate) forest yield anything savage, I will either be food for it or bring it for food to thee. Thy conceit (supposition) is nearer death than thy powers. For my sake, be comfortable. Hold death awhile at the arm’s end. I will here be with thee presently (right away), and, if I bring thee not something to eat, I will give thee leave to die, but, if thou diest before I come, thou art a mocker (scorner) of my labor. Well said (now, that’s better). Thou look’st cheerly, and I’ll be with thee quickly. Yet thou liest in the bleak (chilly) air. Come, I will bear thee to some shelter, and thou shalt not die for lack of a dinner if there live anything in this desert. Cheerly, good Adam.

Exeunt


 

Act 2. Scene 7. The Forest of Arden

 

Enter DUKE SENIORAMIENS, and LORDS like outlaws.

 

DUKE SENIOR

I think he be transformed into a beast,

For I can nowhere find him like a man.

 

FIRST LORD

My lord, he is but even now (just now) gone hence.

Here was he merry, hearing of a song.

 

DUKE SENIOR

If he, compact of jars (composed of discords), grow musical,

We shall have shortly discord in the spheres.
(the spheres held the heavenly bodies in place)

Go seek him. Tell him I would speak with him.

Enter JAQUES

 

FIRST LORD

He saves my labor by his own approach.

 

DUKE SENIOR

Why, how now, monsieur? What a life is this

That your poor friends must woo your company?

What, you look merrily.

 

JAQUES

A fool, a fool, I met a fool i' th' forest,

A motley (dressed in patchwork) fool. A miserable world!

As I do live by food, I met a fool,

Who laid him down and basked him in the sun

And railed on Lady Fortune in good terms,

In good set terms, and yet a motley fool.

“Good morrow, fool,” quoth I. “No, sir,” quoth he,

“Call me not ‘fool’ till heaven hath sent me fortune.”

And then he drew a dial (watch) from his poke (pocket or sack)

And, looking on it with lackluster eye,

Says very wisely, “It is ten o'clock.

Thus we may see,” quoth he, “how the world wags (goes along).

'Tis but an hour ago since it was nine,

And after one hour more ’twill be eleven.

And so from hour to hour we ripe and ripe,

And then from hour to hour we rot and rot,

And thereby hangs a tale.” When I did hear

The motley fool thus moral[ize] on the time,

My lungs began to crow like chanticleer (a rooster)

That fools should be so deep-contemplative,

And I did laugh sans (Fr: without) intermission
(in-ter-mis-si-on – five syllables)

An hour by his dial (watch). O noble fool!

A worthy fool! Motley’s the only wear.

 

DUKE SENIOR

What fool is this?

 

JAQUES

O worthy fool!—One that hath been a courtier

And says, “If ladies be but young and fair,

They have the gift to know it,” and in his brain,

Which is as dry as the remainder biscuit

After a voyage, he hath strange places crammed

With observation, the which he vents

In mangled forms. Oh, that I were a fool!

I am ambitious for a motley coat.
(a dry brain was thought to be slower)

 

DUKE SENIOR

Thou shalt have one.

 

JAQUES

It is my only suit (request),

Provided that you weed your better judgments

Of all opinion, that grows rank (rotten) in them,

That I am wise. I must have liberty

Withal (in addition), as large a charter (permission) as the wind,

To blow on whom I please, for so (such a charter) fools have,

And they that are most gallèd with (rubbed sore by) my folly,

They most must laugh, and why, sir, must they so?

The “why” is plain as [walk]way to parish church:

He that a fool doth very wisely hit (insult)

Doth very foolishly (although he smart)

Not to (if he doesn’t) seem senseless of the bob (taunt). If not,

The wise man’s folly is anatomized (objectified)

Even by the squand'ring (random) glances of the fool.
(the folly is made a target that it hadn’t been before)

Invest (clothe) me in my motley. Give me leave (permission)

To speak my mind, and I will through and through

Cleanse the foul body of th' infected world,

If they will patiently receive my medicine.

 

DUKE SENIOR

Fie on thee! I can tell what thou wouldst do.

 

JAQUES

What, for a counter (a bit of change – a small investment), would I do but good?

 

DUKE SENIOR

Most mischievous foul sin in chiding sin,
(you sin yourself when you criticize sin)

For thou thyself hast been a libertine,

As sensual as the brutish sting (sting of lust) itself,

And all th' embossed (bulging) sores and headed evils (boils that have come to a head)

That thou with license of free foot hast caught

Wouldst thou disgorge (throw up) into the general world.

 

JAQUES

Why, who (what satirist) cries out on (against) pride [in general]

That can therein tax (censure) any private (single) party?

Doth it (pride) not flow as hugely as the sea

Till that the weary very means do ebb?
(until pride exhausts itself by its own extravagance)

What woman in the city do I name,

When that I say the city-woman bears

The cost of princes (extravagant apparel) on unworthy shoulders?

Who can come in and say that I mean her

When such a one as she, such is her neighbor?

Or what is he of basest function
(of lowest occupation)

That says his bravery (rich apparel) is not of my cost,

Thinking that I mean him but therein (by speaking up) suits

His folly to the mettle (substance) of my speech?

There then. How then, what then? Let me see wherein

My tongue hath wronged him. If it do him right (characterize him justly),

Then he hath wronged himself. If he be free [of guilt],

Why then my taxing (censuring) like a wild goose flies

Unclaimed of any man. But who comes here?

Enter ORLANDO, with his sword drawn

 

ORLANDO

Forbear and eat no more.

 

JAQUES

Why, I have eat none yet.

 

ORLANDO

Nor shalt not till necessity (the needy) be served.

 

JAQUES

Of what kind should this cock come of?
(what kind of fighting cock is this)

 

DUKE SENIOR

Art thou thus boldened, man, by thy distress

Or else a rude despiser of good manners,

That in civility thou seem’st so empty?

 

ORLANDO

You touched my vein at first. The thorny point (sharpness)
(you touched my situation the first time)

Of bare distress hath ta'en from me the show

Of smooth civility, yet am I inland (city) bred

And know some nurture. But forbear, I say.

He dies that touches any of this fruit

Till I and my affairs are answered (taken care of).

 

JAQUES

An (if) you will not be answered with reason, I must die.
(if you won’t listen to reason, then I must die)

 

DUKE SENIOR

What would you have? Your gentleness (gentlemanliness) shall force

More than your force move us to gentleness.

 

ORLANDO

I almost die for food, and let me have it.

 

DUKE SENIOR

Sit down and feed, and welcome to our table.

 

ORLANDO

Speak you so gently? Pardon me, I pray you.

I thought that all things had been savage here,

And therefore put I on the countenance (face)

Of stern commandment. But whate'er you are

That (in this desert inaccessible,

Under the shade of melancholy boughs)

Lose and neglect the creeping hours of time,

If ever you have looked on better days,

If ever been where bells have knolled to church,

If ever sat at any good man’s feast,

If ever from your eyelids wiped a tear

And know what ’tis to pity and be pitied,

Let gentleness my strong enforcement be,

In the which hope I blush and hide (sheathe) my sword.

 

DUKE SENIOR

True is it that we have seen better days

And have with holy bell been knolled to church

And sat at good men’s feasts and wiped our eyes

Of drops that sacred pity hath engendered

And, therefore, sit you down in gentleness

And take upon command what help we have

That to your wanting may be ministered (provided).

 

ORLANDO

Then but forbear your food a little while

Whiles, like a doe, I go to find my fawn

And give it food. There is an old poor man

Who after me hath many a weary step

Limped in pure love. Till he be first sufficed,

Oppressed with two weak evils, age and hunger,

I will not touch a bit.

 

DUKE SENIOR

Go find him out,

And we will nothing waste till you return.

 

ORLANDO

I thank you and be blessed for your good comfort (comforting).

Exit

 

DUKE SENIOR

Thou seest we are not all alone unhappy.

This wide and universal theater

Presents more woeful pageants than the scene

Wherein we play in.

 

JAQUES

All the world’s a stage

And all the men and women merely players.

They have their exits and their entrances,

And one man in his time plays many parts,

His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,

Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.

Then the whining schoolboy with his satchel (book bag)

And shining morning face, creeping like snail

Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,

Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad

Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,

Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard (leopard),

Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,

Seeking the bubble reputation

Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,

In fair round belly with good capon (chicken) lined,

With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,

Full of wise saws (sayings) and modern instances,

And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts

Into the lean and slippered (wearing slippers) pantaloons
pantaloons=old men wearing breeches

With spectacles on nose and [money] pouch on side,

His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide

For his shrunk shank (leg), and his big manly voice,

Turning again toward childish treble, pipes

And whistles in his sound (whenever he speaks). Last scene of all

That ends this strange, eventful history

Is second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans (Fr. without) teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

Enter ORLANDO bearing ADAM

 

DUKE SENIOR

Welcome. Set down your venerable (honorable) burden

And let him feed.

 

ORLANDO

I thank you most for him.
(I thank you very much on his behalf)

 

ADAM

So had you need (you need to speak for me).—

I scarce can speak to thank you for myself.

 

DUKE SENIOR

Welcome. Fall to. I will not trouble you

As yet to question you about your fortunes.—

Give us some music, and, good cousin, sing.

 

AMIENS

(sings)

Blow, blow, thou winter wind.

Thou art not so unkind

As man’s ingratitude.

Thy tooth is not so keen (sharp),

Because thou art not seen,

Although thy breath be rude.

Heigh-ho, sing heigh-ho, unto the green holly.

Most friendship is feigning (pretending), most loving mere folly.

Then heigh-ho, the holly.

This life is most jolly.

Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky,

That dost not bite so nigh (near to the heart)

As benefits forgot.

Though thou the waters warp (ice up),

Thy sting is not so sharp

As friend remembered not.

Heigh-ho, sing heigh-ho, unto the green holly.

Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly.

Then heigh-ho, the holly.

This life is most jolly.

 

DUKE SENIOR

If that you were the good Sir Rowland’s son,

As you have whispered faithfully you were,

And as mine eye doth his effigies (likeness) witness

Most truly limned (portrayed) and living in your face,

Be truly welcome hither. I am the Duke

That loved your father. The residue of your fortune (the rest of your adventure)

Go to my cave and tell me.—Good old man,

Thou art [as] right welcome as thy master is.

Support him by the arm. Give me your hand,

And let me all your fortunes understand.

Exeunt


 

Act 3. Scene 1. A room in the palace

 

Enter DUKE FREDERICKLORDS, and OLIVER

 

DUKE FREDERICK

Not see him since? Sir, sir, that cannot be.

But were I not the better part made mercy,

I should not seek an absent argument

Of my revenge, thou present. But look to it:
(if I weren’t merciful, I would take revenge on you in place of Orlando, since you are present)

Find out thy brother, wheresoe'er he is.

Seek him with candle. Bring him, dead or living,
(the philosopher used a candle to light his way when searching for an honest man)

Within this twelvemonth or turn thou no more

To seek a living in our territory.

Thy lands and all things that thou dost call thine

Worth seizure do we seize into our hands

Till thou canst quit (acquit) thee by thy brother’s mouth (testimony)

Of what we think against thee.

 

OLIVER

Oh, that your Highness knew my heart in this:

I never loved my brother in my life.

 

DUKE FREDERICK

More villain thou.—Well, push him out of doors

And let my officers of such a nature (whose duty it is to execute such functions)

Make an extent (draw up a writ of seizure) upon his house and lands.

Do this expediently, and turn him going (send him away).

Exeunt


 

Act 3. Scene 2. The forest

 

Enter ORLANDO, with a paper

 

ORLANDO

Hang there, my verse, in witness of my love,
(he hangs his verse on a tree)

And thou, thrice-crownéd queen of night (Diana), survey

With thy chaste eye from thy pale sphere above

Thy huntress' name (Rosalind, a devotee of Diana) that my full (entire) life doth sway.

O Rosalind, these trees shall be my books,

And in their barks my thoughts I’ll character (inscribe),

[so] That every eye which in this forest looks

Shall see thy virtue witnessed everywhere.

Run, run, Orlando, carve on every tree

The fair, the chaste, and unexpressive (beyond description) she.

Exit

Enter CORIN and TOUCHSTONE

 

CORIN

And how like you this shepherd’s life, Master Touchstone?

 

TOUCHSTONE

Truly, shepherd, in respect of itself, it is a good life, but in respect that it is a shepherd’s life, it is naught (worthless). In respect that it is solitary, I like it very well, but in respect that it is private (lonely), it is a very vile life. Now in respect it is in the fields, it pleaseth me well, but in respect it is not in the court, it is tedious. As it is a spare (frugal) life, look you, it fits my humor (temperament) well, but as there is no more plenty (abundance) in it, it goes much against my stomach (appetite). Hast any philosophy in thee, shepherd?

 

CORIN

No more but that I know the more one sickens, the worse at ease he is and that he that wants (lacks) money, means, and content (contentment) is without three good friends, that the property of rain is to wet and fire to burn, that good pasture makes fat sheep, and that a great cause of the night is lack of the sun, that he that hath learned no wit by nature nor art (education) may complain of [his lacking] good breeding (manners) or comes of a very dull kindred.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Such a one [as you] is a natural philosopher. Wast ever in court (a courtier), shepherd?

 

CORIN

No, truly.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Then thou art damned.

 

CORIN

Nay, I hope.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Truly, thou art damned, like an ill-roasted egg, all on one side.

 

CORIN

For not being at court? Your reason.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Why, if thou never wast at court, thou never saw’st good manners; if thou never saw’st good manners, then thy manners must be wicked, and wickedness is sin, and sin is damnation. Thou art in a parlous (perilous) state, shepherd.

 

CORIN

Not a whit, Touchstone. Those that are good manners at the court are as ridiculous in the country as the behavior of the country is most mockable at the court. You told me you salute (greet) not at the court but you kiss your hands. That courtesy would be uncleanly if courtiers were shepherds.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Instance, briefly. Come, instance.

 

CORIN

Why, we are still (always) handling our ewes, and their fells (fleece), you know, are greasy.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Why, do not your courtier’s hands sweat? And is not the grease of a mutton as wholesome as the sweat of a man? Shallow, shallow. A better instance, I say. Come.

 

CORIN

Besides, our hands are hard.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Your lips will feel them the sooner. Shallow again. A more sounder instance. Come.

 

CORIN

And they are often tarred over with the surgery of our sheep, and would you have us kiss tar? The courtier’s hands are perfumed with civet (perfume taken from a civet cat).
(sheep wounds were treated with tar)

 

TOUCHSTONE

Most shallow, man. Thou [art] worms' meat in respect of a good piece of flesh (compared to a good steak), indeed. Learn of the wise and perpend (comprehend): civet is of a baser birth than tar, the very uncleanly flux (discharge) of a cat. Mend the instance, shepherd.

 

CORIN

You have too courtly a wit for me. I’ll rest.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Wilt thou rest damned? God help thee, shallow man. God make incision in thee; thou art raw (ignorant).
(God perform surgery on you. You need to be fixed)

 

CORIN

Sir, I am a true laborer. I earn that (what) I eat, get (work for) that I wear, owe no man hate, envy no man’s happiness, glad of other men’s good, content with my harm (patient in my own afflictions), and the greatest of my pride is to see my ewes graze and my lambs suck.

 

TOUCHSTONE

That is another simple sin in you, to bring the ewes and the rams together and to offer to get your living by the copulation of cattle, to be bawd to a bellwether and to betray a she-lamb of a twelvemonth (only twelve months old) to a crooked-pated old cuckoldly ram, out of all reasonable match. If thou be’st not damned for this, the devil himself will have no shepherds (must be keeping shepherds out of hell). I cannot see else how thou shouldst ’scape.

 

CORIN

Here comes young Master Ganymede, my new mistress’s brother.

Enter ROSALIND with a paper, reading

 

ROSALIND

(as Ganymede, reading) From the east to western Ind (Indies),

No jewel is like Rosalind,

Her worth being mounted on the wind

[which] Through all the world bears Rosalind.

All the pictures fairest lined (drawn)

Are but black [compared] to Rosalind.

Let no fair (beauty) be kept in mind

But the fair of Rosalind.

 

TOUCHSTONE

I’ll rhyme you so eight years together (without intermission), dinners and suppers and sleeping hours excepted. It is the right butter-women’s rank (march) to market.

 

ROSALIND

Out (O, stop), fool.

 

TOUCHSTONE

For a taste:

If a hart (buck) do lack a hind (doe),

Let him seek out Rosalind.

If the cat will after kind (a mate),

So, be sure, will Rosalind.

Winter garments must be lined,

So must slender Rosalind.

They that reap must sheaf and bind,

Then to cart (raise into a cart) with Rosalind.

Sweetest nut hath sourest rind;

Such a nut is Rosalind.

He that sweetest rose will find

Must find love’s prick and Rosalind.

This is the very false gallop of verses. Why do you infect yourself with them?

 

ROSALIND

Peace, you dull fool. I found them on a tree.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Truly, the tree yields bad fruit.

 

ROSALIND

I’ll graft it (the tree) with you, and then I shall graft it with a medlar. Then it will be the earliest fruit i' th' country, for you’ll be rotten ere you be half ripe, and that’s the right (true) virtue of the medlar.
(medlar fruits were eaten only when they were rotten)

 

TOUCHSTONE

You have said, but, whether wisely or no, let the forest judge.

Enter CELIA with a writing

 

ROSALIND

Peace. Here comes my sister (cousin) reading. Stand aside.

 

CELIA

(as Aliena, reads) Why should this a desert be?

For it is unpeopled? No.

Tongues (messages) I’ll hang on every tree

That shall civil sayings show.

Somehow, brief[ly] the life of man

Runs his erring (sinful) pilgrimage,

That the stretching of a span
span=width of a stretched hand

Buckles in (encircles) his sum of age (lifespan)

(Some of violated vows (promises)

'Twixt the souls of friend and friend),

But upon the fairest boughs

Or at every sentence end

Will I “Rosalinda” write,

Teaching all that read to know

The quintessence (highest perfection) of every sprite (spirit)

Heaven would “in little” show.

Therefore, heaven nature charged
(heaven charged Nature)

That one body should be filled

With all graces wide-enlarged (heretofore widely dispersed).

Nature presently distilled

Helen’s cheek, but not her heart,

Cleopatra’s majesty,

Atalanta’s better part,

Sad Lucretia’s modesty.

Thus Rosalind of many parts

By heavenly synod (assembly) was devised

Of many faces, eyes, and hearts

To have the touches dearest (most dearly) prized.

Heaven would that she these gifts should have

And I to live and die her slave.

 

ROSALIND

O most gentle Jupiter, what tedious homily of love have you wearied your parishioners withal and never cried, “Have patience, good people.”

 

CELIA

(as Aliena) How now?—Back, friends.—Shepherd, go off a little.—Go with him, sirrah.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Come, shepherd, let us make an honorable retreat, though not with bag and baggage (an army’s equipment), yet with scrip and scrippage (a shepherd’s pouch and its contents).

Exeunt CORIN and TOUCHSTONE

 

CELIA

Didst thou hear these verses?

 

ROSALIND

Oh, yes, I heard them all and more, too, for some of them had in them more feet (metrical feet) than the verses would bear.

 

CELIA

That’s no matter. The feet might bear the verses.

 

ROSALIND

Ay, but the feet were lame and could not bear themselves without the vers and, therefore, stood lamely in the verse.

 

CELIA

But didst thou hear without wondering how thy name should be hanged and carved upon these trees?

 

ROSALIND

I was seven of the nine days out of the wonder before you came, for look here what I found on a palm tree. I was never so be-rhymed since Pythagoras' time, that (when) I was an Irish rat, which I can hardly remember.
(“a wonder lasts but nine days”)
(in an earlier life Rosalind was a rat, who was rhymed to death by Irish poets)

 

CELIA

Trow (know) you who hath done this?

 

ROSALIND

Is it a man?

 

CELIA

And a chain, that you once wore, about his neck. Change you color?

 

ROSALIND

I prithee, who?

 

CELIA

O Lord, Lord, it is a hard matter for friends to meet, but mountains may be removed with earthquakes and so encounter (meet).

 

ROSALIND

Nay, but who is it?

 

CELIA

Is it possible?

 

ROSALIND

Nay, I prithee now, with most petitionary vehemence, tell me who it is.

 

CELIA

O wonderful, wonderful, and most wonderful, wonderful, and, yet again, wonderful, and after that, out of all whooping!

 

ROSALIND

Good my complexion, dost thou think, though I am caparisoned (dressed) like a man, I have a doublet and hose (masculinity) in my disposition? One inch of delay more is a South Sea of discovery (long voyage). I prithee, tell me who is it quickly and speak apace. I would thou couldst stammer [so] that thou might’st pour this concealed man out of thy mouth as wine comes out of a narrow-mouthed bottle—either too much at once or none at all. I prithee take the cork out of thy mouth [so] that I may drink thy tidings.

 

CELIA

So you may put a man in your belly.

 

ROSALIND

Is he of God’s making? What manner of man? Is his head worth a hat or his chin worth a beard?

 

CELIA

Nay, he hath but a little beard.

 

ROSALIND

Why, God will send more, if the man will be thankful. Let me stay (await) the growth of his beard if thou delay me not the knowledge of his chin.

 

CELIA

It is young Orlando, that tripped up the wrestler’s heels and your heart both in an instant.

 

ROSALIND

Nay, but the devil take mocking (teasing). Speak, sad brow and true (serious and truthful) maid.

 

CELIA

I' faith, coz, ’tis he.

 

ROSALIND

Orlando?

 

CELIA

Orlando.

 

ROSALIND

Alas the day, what shall I do with my doublet and hose (men’s clothing)? What did he when thou saw’st him? What said he? How looked he? Wherein went he? What makes him (is he doing) here? Did he ask for me? Where remains (dwells) he? How parted he with thee? And when shalt thou see him again? Answer me in one word.

 

CELIA

You must borrow me Gargantua’s mouth first. 'Tis a word too great for any mouth of this age’s size. To say ay and no to these particulars is more than to answer in a catechism (book of questions and answers about religion).
(Gargantua is a giant in a book by Rabelais)

 

ROSALIND

But doth he know that I am in this forest and in man’s apparel? Looks he as freshly as he did the day he wrestled?

 

CELIA

It is as easy to count atomies (specks) as to resolve the propositions (questions) of a lover. But take a taste of my finding him and relish it with good observance. I found him under a tree like a dropped acorn.

 

ROSALIND

It may well be called Jove’s tree when it drops forth such fruit.
(the oak was sacred to Jove)

 

CELIA

Give me audience, good madam.

 

ROSALIND

Proceed.

 

CELIA

There lay he, stretched along (full length) like a wounded knight.

 

ROSALIND

Though it be pity to see such a sight, it well becomes the ground.

 

CELIA

Cry “holla” (whoa) to thy tongue, I prithee. It curvets unseasonably (leaps about like a frisky horse). He was furnished (dressed) like a hunter.

 

ROSALIND

Oh, ominous! He comes to kill my heart.

 

CELIA

I would sing my song without a burden (refrain). Thou bring’st me out of tune.

 

ROSALIND

Do you not know I am a woman? When I think, I must speak. Sweet, say on.

 

CELIA

You bring me out (you disconcert me). Soft (wait a moment), comes he not here?

Enter ORLANDO and JAQUES

 

ROSALIND

'Tis he. Slink by, and note him [from a hiding place].

 

JAQUES

I thank you for your company, but, good faith, I had as lief (as soon) have been [by] myself alone.

 

ORLANDO

And so had I, but yet, for fashion (manners’) sake, I thank you, too, for your society.

 

JAQUES

God be wi' you. Let’s meet as little as we can.

 

ORLANDO

I do desire we may be better strangers.

 

JAQUES

I pray you mar no more trees with writing love songs in their barks.

 

ORLANDO

I pray you mar no more of my verses with reading them ill-favoredly.

 

JAQUES

Rosalind is your love’s name?

 

ORLANDO

Yes, just.

 

JAQUES

I do not like her name.

 

ORLANDO

There was no thought of pleasing you when she was christened.

 

JAQUES

What stature is she of?

 

ORLANDO

Just as high as my heart.

 

JAQUES

You are full of pretty answers. Have you not been acquainted with goldsmiths' wives and conned (memorized) them (sayings=answers) out of rings?

 

ORLANDO

Not so. But I answer you [in the spirit of] right (actual) painted cloth, from whence you have studied your questions.
(painted cloths had sayings written on them)

 

JAQUES

You have a nimble wit. I think ’twas made of Atalanta’s heels. Will you sit down with me? And we two will rail against (complain about) our mistress - the world - and all our misery.
(Atalanta was a mythical runner)

 

ORLANDO

I will chide no breather in the world but myself, against whom I know most faults.
(I will complain about nobody but myself, whose faults I acknowledge)

 

JAQUES

The worst fault you have is to be in love.

 

ORLANDO

'Tis a fault I will not change for your best virtue. I am weary of you.

 

JAQUES

By my troth, I was seeking for a fool when I found you.

 

ORLANDO

He is drowned in the brook. Look but in, and you shall see him.

 

JAQUES

There I shall see mine own figure.

 

ORLANDO

Which I take to be either a fool or a cipher.

 

JAQUES

I’ll tarry no longer with you. Farewell, good Signior Love.

 

ORLANDO

I am glad of your departure. Adieu, good Monsieur Melancholy.

Exit JAQUES

 

ROSALIND

(aside to CELIAI will speak to him like a saucy lackey and under that habit play the knave with him.—Do you hear, forester?

 

ORLANDO

Very well. What would you (what do you want)?

 

ROSALIND

(as Ganymede) I pray you, what is ’t o'clock?

 

ORLANDO

You should ask me what time o' day. There’s no clock in the forest.

 

ROSALIND

Then there is no true lover in the forest, else sighing every minute and groaning every hour would detect the lazy foot of time as well as a clock.

 

ORLANDO

And why not the swift foot of time? Had not that been as proper?

 

ROSALIND

By no means, sir. Time travels in diverse paces with diverse persons. I’ll tell you who time ambles withal, who time trots withal, who time gallops withal, and who he stands still withal.

 

ORLANDO

I prithee, who doth he trot withal?

 

ROSALIND

Marry, he trots hard with a young maid between the contract of her marriage and the day it is solemnized. If the interim be but a se'nnight, time’s pace is so hard that it seems the length of seven year.

 

ORLANDO

Who ambles time withal?

 

ROSALIND

With a priest that lacks Latin and a rich man that hath not the gout, for the one sleeps easily because he cannot study and the other lives merrily because he feels no pain, the one lacking the burden of lean and wasteful learning, the other knowing no burden of heavy, tedious penury. These time ambles withal.

 

ORLANDO

Who doth he gallop withal?

 

ROSALIND

With a thief to the gallows, for though he go as softly as foot can fall, he thinks himself too soon there.

 

ORLANDO

Who stays it still withal?

 

ROSALIND

With lawyers in the vacation, for they sleep between term and term, and then they perceive not how time moves.

 

ORLANDO

Where dwell you, pretty youth?

 

ROSALIND

With this shepherdess, my sister, here in the skirts of the forest like fringe upon a petticoat.

 

ORLANDO

Are you native of this place?

 

ROSALIND

As the cony (rabbit) that you see dwell where she is kindled (born).

 

ORLANDO

Your accent is something finer than you could purchase in so removed a dwelling.

 

ROSALIND

I have been told so of many. But, indeed, an old religious uncle of mine taught me to speak who was in his youth an inland (in court, not in the outskirts) man, one that knew courtship too well, for there he fell in love. I have heard him read many lectures against it (courtship), and I thank God I am not a woman, to be touched with so many giddy offenses as he hath generally taxed (censured) their whole sex withal.

 

ORLANDO

Can you remember any of the principal evils that he laid to the charge of women?

 

ROSALIND

There were none principal. They were all like one another as half-pence are, every one fault seeming monstrous till his fellow fault came to match it.

 

ORLANDO

I prithee, recount some of them.

 

ROSALIND

No, I will not cast away my physic but on those that are sick. There is a man haunts the forest that abuses our young plants with carving “Rosalind” on their barks, hangs odes upon hawthorns and elegies on brambles, all, forsooth, deifying the name of Rosalind. If I could meet that fancy-monger (dream-catcher), I would give him some good counsel, for he seems to have the quotidian (fever with daily attacks) of love upon him.

 

ORLANDO

I am he that is so love-shaked (love-siezed). I pray you tell me your remedy.

 

ROSALIND

There is none of my uncle’s marks upon you. He taught me how to know a man in love, in which cage of rushes I am sure you are not prisoner.

 

ORLANDO

What were his marks?

 

ROSALIND

A lean cheek, which you have not; a blue eye and sunken, which you have not; an unquestionable spirit, which you have not; a beard neglected, which you have not—but I pardon you for that, for simply your having in beard is a younger brother’s revenue (younger brother’s inheritance=not much). Then, your hose should be ungartered, your bonnet (hat) unbanded (unsecured), your sleeve unbuttoned, your shoe untied, and everything about you demonstrating a careless desolation, but you are no such man. You are rather point-device (fastidiously attired) in your accouterments (outfit), as loving yourself [rather] than seeming the lover of any other.

 

ORLANDO

Fair youth, I would I could make thee believe I love.

 

ROSALIND

Me believe it? You may as soon make her that you love believe it, which I warrant she is apter to do than to confess she does. That is one of the points in the which women still give the lie to their consciences, but, in good sooth, are you he that hangs the verses on the trees wherein Rosalind is so admired?

 

ORLANDO

I swear to thee, youth, by the white hand of Rosalind, I am that he, that unfortunate he.

 

ROSALIND

But are you so much in love as your rhymes speak?

 

ORLANDO

Neither rhyme nor reason can express how much.

 

ROSALIND

Love is merely a madness and, I tell you, deserves as well a dark house and a whip as madmen do, and the reason why they are not so punished and cured is that the lunacy is so ordinary that the whippers are in love, too. Yet, I profess curing it by counsel.

 

ORLANDO

Did you ever cure any so?

 

ROSALIND

Yes, one, and in this manner. He was to imagine me his love, his mistress, and I set him every day to woo me; at which time would I, being but a moonish (changeable) youth, grieve, be effeminate, changeable, longing and liking, proud, fantastical, apish, shallow, inconstant, full of tears, full of smiles, for every passion something, and for no passion truly anything, as boys and women are, for the most part, cattle of this color, would now like him, now loathe him, then entertain him, then forswear (renounce) him, now weep for him, then spit at him, [so] that I drove my suitor from his mad humor (mood) of love to a living humor of madness, which was to forswear the full stream of the world and to live in a nook merely (entirely) monastic, and thus I cured him, and this way will I take upon me to wash your liver (the seat of emotions) as clean as a sound sheep’s heart [so] that there shall not be one spot of love in ’t.

 

ORLANDO

I would not be cured, youth.

 

ROSALIND

I would cure you if you would but call me Rosalind and come every day to my cote (cottage) and woo me.

 

ORLANDO

Now, by the faith of my love, I will. Tell me where it is.

 

ROSALIND

Go with me to it, and I’ll show it you, and, by the way, you shall tell me where in the forest you live. Will you go?

 

ORLANDO

With all my heart, good youth.

 

ROSALIND

Nay, you must call me Rosalind.—Come, sister, will you go?

Exeunt


 

Act 3. Scene 3. The forest

 

Enter TOUCHSTONE, AUDREY, and JAQUES behind

 

TOUCHSTONE

Come apace (quickly), good Audrey. I will fetch up your goats, Audrey. And how (what do you think), Audrey? Am I the man [for you] yet? Doth my simple feature (looks) content (please) you?

 

AUDREY

Your features, Lord warrant (protect) us! What features?

 

TOUCHSTONE

I am here with thee and thy goats, as the most capricious (witty) poet, honest Ovid, was among the Goths (sounds to Touchstone like goats).

 

JAQUES

(aside) O, knowledge (intelligence) ill-inhabited, worse than Jove in a thatched house (hut).
(Jove took lodging in a hut)

 

TOUCHSTONE

When a man’s verses cannot be understood nor a man’s good wit seconded with the forward (precocious) child, understanding, it strikes a man more dead than a great reckoning in a little room (big bill for a little room). Truly, I would (wish) the gods had made thee poetical.

 

AUDREY

I do not know what “poetical” is. Is it honest (pure=chaste) in deed and word? Is it a true thing?

 

TOUCHSTONE

No, truly, for the truest poetry is the most feigning (artificial), and lovers are given to poetry, and what they swear in poetry may be said as lovers they do feign (pretend to be).

 

AUDREY

Do you wish then that the gods had made me poetical?

 

TOUCHSTONE

I do, truly, for thou swear’st to me thou art honest. Now, if thou wert a poet, I might have some hope thou didst feign.

 

AUDREY

Would you not have me honest?

 

TOUCHSTONE

No, truly, unless thou wert hard-favored (homely), for honesty coupled to beauty is to have honey a sauce to sugar.

 

JAQUES

(aside) A material (sensible) fool.

 

AUDREY

Well, I am not fair (good looking), and, therefore, I pray the gods make me honest (chaste).

 

TOUCHSTONE

Truly, and to cast away (waste) honesty upon a foul slut were to put good meat into an unclean dish.

 

AUDREY

I am not a slut, though I thank the gods I am foul (homely).

 

TOUCHSTONE

Well, praised be the gods for thy foulness; sluttishness may come hereafter. But be it as it may be, I will marry thee, and to that end I have been with Sir Oliver Martext, the vicar of the next village, who hath promised to meet me in this place of the forest and to couple us.

 

JAQUES

(aside) I would fain see (like to see) this meeting.

 

AUDREY

Well, the gods give us joy.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Amen. A man may, if he were of a fearful heart, stagger in this attempt, for here we have no temple but the wood, no assembly but horn-beasts. But what though? Courage. As horns are odious, they are necessary (inevitable). It is said, “Many a man knows no end (knows not the full extent) of his goods.” Right: many a man has good horns and knows no end of them. Well, that is the dowry of his wife; ’tis none of his own getting. Horns? Even so. Poor men alone? No, no. The noblest deer hath them as huge as the rascal. Is the single man, therefore, blessed? No. As a walled town is more worthier than a village, so is the forehead [with horns=with an unfaithful wife] of a married man more honorable than the bare brow of a bachelor. And by how much [self-]defense is better than no skill, by so much is a horn more precious than to want (be without).

Enter SIR OLIVER MARTEXT

Here comes Sir Oliver.—Sir Oliver Martext, you are well met. Will you dispatch us (marry us) here under this tree, or shall we go with you to your chapel?

 

SIR OLIVER MARTEXT

Is there none here to give [away] the woman?

 

TOUCHSTONE

I will not take her on gift of any man.

 

SIR OLIVER MARTEXT

Truly, she must be given, or the marriage is not lawful.

 

JAQUES

(advancing) Proceed, proceed. I’ll give her [away].

 

TOUCHSTONE

Good even[ing], good Monsieur What-ye-call’t. How do you, sir? You are very well met. God 'ild (yield=reward) you for your last company (company when we last met). I am very glad to see you. Even a toy in hand (a trifling matter) here, sir. (to Audrey) Nay, pray be covered (put your hat back on).

 

JAQUES

Will you be married, motley (fool)?

 

TOUCHSTONE

As the ox hath his bow (yoke), sir, the horse his curb, and the falcon her bells, so man hath his desires, and, as pigeons bill, so wedlock would be nibbling.

 

JAQUES

And will you, being a man of your breeding, be married under a bush like a beggar? Get you to church, and have a good priest that can tell you what marriage is. This fellow will but join you together as they join wainscot (wallboard). Then one of you will prove a shrunk panel and, like green timber, warp, warp [the marriage breaks apart].

 

TOUCHSTONE

(aside) I am not in the mind but (I do not know but that) I were better to be married of (by) him than of (by) another, for he is not like to marry me well, and, not being well married, it will be a good excuse for me hereafter to leave my wife.

JAQUES

Go thou with me, and let me counsel thee.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Come, sweet Audrey. We must be married, or we must live in bawdry.—Farewell, good Master Oliver, not

O sweet Oliver,

O brave Oliver,

Leave me not behind thee

But

Wind away,

Begone, I say,

I will not to wedding with thee.
(
the song was popular in Shakespeare’s day)

Exeunt JAQUESTOUCHSTONE, and AUDREY

 

SIR OLIVER MARTEXT

'Tis no matter. Ne'er a fantastical knave (deranged rascal) of them all shall flout me out of my calling.

Exit


 

Act 3. Scene 4. The forest

 

Enter ROSALIND and CELIA

 

ROSALIND

Never talk to me. I will weep.

 

CELIA

Do, I prithee, but yet have the grace to consider that tears do not become a man.

 

ROSALIND

But have I not cause to weep?

 

CELIA

As good cause as one would desire. Therefore, weep.

 

ROSALIND

His very hair is of the dissembling (lying) color.
(Judas’ hair if often depicted as being red)

 

CELIA

Something browner than Judas’s. Marry, his kisses are

Judas’s own children.
(Judas betrayed Jesus to the Romans with a kiss)

 

ROSALIND

I' faith, his hair is of a good color.

 

CELIA

An excellent color. Your chestnut was ever the only color.

 

ROSALIND

And his kissing is as full of sanctity as the touch of holy bread.

 

CELIA

He hath bought a pair of cast [molded from a statue] lips of Diana (the patron goddess of virgins). A nun of winter’s sisterhood (cold) kisses not more religiously. The very ice of chastity is in them.

 

ROSALIND

But why did he swear he would come this morning, and comes not?

 

CELIA

Nay, certainly, there is no truth in him.

 

ROSALIND

Do you think so?

 

CELIA

Yes, I think he is not a pick-purse nor a horse-stealer, but, for his verity in love, I do think him as concave (hollow) as a covered goblet or a worm-eaten nut.

 

ROSALIND

Not true in love?

 

CELIA

Yes, when he is in [love], but I think he is not in.

 

ROSALIND

You have heard him swear downright he was.

 

CELIA

“Was” is not “is.” Besides, the oath of a lover is no stronger than the word of a tapster (bartender). They are both the confirmer of false reckonings (charges). He attends here in the forest on the Duke your father.

 

ROSALIND

I met the Duke yesterday and had much question (discussion) with him. He asked me of what parentage I was. I told him, of as good as he, so he laughed and let me go, but what talk we of fathers when there is such a man as Orlando?

 

CELIA

Oh, that’s a brave man. He writes brave verses, speaks brave words, swears brave oaths, and breaks them bravely, quite traverse (contrary), athwart the heart of his lover, as a puny tilter (jouster) that spurs his horse but on one side breaks his staff like a noble goose, but all’s brave that youth mounts (undertakes) and folly (foolishness) guides.

Enter CORIN

Who comes here?

 

CORIN

Mistress and master, you have oft inquired

After the shepherd that complained of love,

Whom you saw sitting by me on the turf

Praising the proud disdainful shepherdess

That was his mistress.

 

CELIA

(as AlienaWell, and what of him?

 

CORIN

If you will see a pageant truly played

Between the pale complexion of true love

And the red glow of scorn and proud disdain,

Go hence a little, and I shall conduct you,

If you will mark (pay attention to) it.

 

ROSALIND

(aside to CELIA) O, come, let us remove.

The sight of lovers feedeth those in love.

(as Ganymede) Bring us to this sight, and you shall say

I’ll prove a busy actor in their play.

Exeunt


 

Act 3. Scene 5. The forest

 

Enter SILVIUS and PHOEBE

 

SILVIUS

Sweet Phoebe, do not scorn me. Do not, Phoebe.

Say that you love me not but say not so

In bitterness. The common executioner,

Whose heart th' accustomed sight of death makes hard,

Falls not the axe upon the humbled neck

But first begs pardon. Will you sterner be

Than he that dies and lives by bloody drops?

Enter ROSALINDCELIA, and CORIN, behind

 

PHOEBE

I would not be thy executioner.

I fly [from] thee, for I would not injure thee.

Thou tell’st me there is murder in mine eye.

'Tis pretty, sure, and very probable

That eyes, that are the frail’st and softest things,

Which shut their coward gates on atomies (specks),

Should be called tyrants, butchers, murderers.

Now I do frown on thee with all my heart,

And, if mine eyes can wound, now let them kill thee.

Now counterfeit to swoon, why, now fall down,

Or, if thou canst not, oh, for shame, for shame,

Lie not, to say mine eyes are murderers.

Now show the wound mine eye hath made in thee.

Scratch thee but with a pin, and there remains

Some scar of it. Lean upon a rush,

The cicatrice (scar-like) and capable (perceptible) impressure

Thy palm some moment keeps. But now mine eyes,

Which I have darted at thee, hurt thee not.

Nor, I am sure, there is no force in eyes
nor . . . no = nor . . . any

That can do hurt.

 

SILVIUS

O dear Phoebe,

If ever—as that “ever” may be near—
(and may that “ever” be near)

You meet in some fresh cheek the power of [your] fancy (love),

Then shall you know the wounds invisible

That love’s keen arrows make.

 

PHOEBE

But till that time

Come not thou near me, and, when that time comes,

Afflict me with thy mocks, pity me not,

As, till that time, I shall not pity thee.

 

ROSALIND

(advancing, as Ganymede) And why, I pray you? Who might be your mother
(what have you learned from your mother)

That you insult, exult, and, all at once,

Over the wretched? What though you have no beauty—

As, by my faith, I see no more in you

Than without candle may go dark to bed—
(don’t take a candle to bed to reveal your looks)

Must you be, therefore, proud and pitiless?

Why, what means this? Why do you look on me?
(Phoebe looks at her)

I see no more in you than in the ordinary (common course)

Of nature’s sale-work (ordinary goods).—'Od’s (may God save) my little life,

I think she means to tangle my eyes, too.

—No, faith, proud mistress, hope not after it.

'Tis not your inky brows, your black silk hair,

Your bugle (black and glassy) eyeballs, nor your cheek of cream

That can entame my spirits to your worship.

—You foolish shepherd, wherefore (why) do you follow her

Like foggy south [wind] puffing with wind and rain?

You are a thousand times a properer man

Than she a woman. 'Tis such fools as you

That make the world full of ill-favored children.

'Tis not her glass (mirror) but you that flatters her,

And out of you she sees herself more proper

Than any of her lineaments (reflection) can show her.

—But, mistress, know yourself. Down on your knees

And thank heaven, fasting, for a good man’s love,

For I must tell you friendly in your ear,

Sell when you can - you are not for all markets.

Cry the man mercy, love him, take his offer.

Foul is most foul, being foul (and, in addition) to be a scoffer.

(to Silvius) So take her to thee, shepherd. Fare you well.

 

PHOEBE

Sweet youth, I pray you chide a year [al]together.

I had rather hear you chide than this man woo.

 

ROSALIND

He’s fall'n in love with your foulness. (to SILVIUS ) And she’ll fall in love with my anger. If it be so, as fast as she answers thee with frowning looks, I’ll sauce (rebuke) her with bitter words. (to PHOEBE ) Why look you so upon me?

 

PHOEBE

For no ill will I bear [against] you.

 

ROSALIND

I pray you, do not fall in love with me,

For I am falser than vows made in wine.

Besides, I like you not. If you will know my house,

'Tis at the tuft of olives, here hard (close) by.

—Will you go, sister?—Shepherd, ply her hard (woo her energetically).

—Come, sister.—Shepherdess, look on him better

And be not proud. Though all the world could see [you],

None could be so abused in sight (deceived visually) as he.

—Come, to our flock.

Exeunt ROSALINDCELIA, and CORIN

 

PHOEBE

Dead shepherd, now I find thy saw (saying) of might:
dead shepherd=Christopher Marlowe, playwright, died 1593

Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?”

 

SILVIUS

Sweet Phoebe—

 

PHOEBE

Ha, what sayst thou, Silvius?

 

SILVIUS

Sweet Phoebe, pity me.

 

PHOEBE

Why, I am sorry for thee, gentle (gentlemanly) Silvius.

 

SILVIUS

Wherever sorrow is, relief would (should) be.

If you do sorrow at my grief in love,

By giving [me] love your sorrow and my grief

Were (would be) both extermined (cured).

 

PHOEBE

Thou hast my love (friendship). Is not that neighborly?

 

SILVIUS

I would have you.

 

PHOEBE

Why, that were covetousness.

Silvius, the time was that I hated thee,

And, yet, it is not that I bear thee love,

But since that thou canst talk of love so well,

Thy company, which erst (before) was irksome to me,

I will endure, and I’ll employ thee, too,

But do not look for further recompense

Than thine own gladness that thou art employed.

 

SILVIUS

So holy and so perfect is my love,

And I in such a poverty of grace (lacking grace),

That I shall think it a most plenteous crop

To glean the broken ears after the man

That the main harvest reaps. Loose, now and then,

A scattered smile, and that I’ll live upon.

 

PHOEBE

Know’st thou the youth that spoke to me erewhile (recently)?

 

SILVIUS

Not very well, but I have met him oft,

And he hath bought the cottage and the bounds

That the old carlot (peasant) once was master of.

 

PHOEBE

Think not I love him, though I ask for him.

'Tis but a peevish (silly) boy—yet he talks well—

But what care I for words? Yet words do well

When he that speaks them pleases those that hear.

It is a pretty youth—not very pretty—

But sure he’s proud—and yet his pride becomes him.

He’ll make a proper man. The best thing in him

Is his complexion, and, faster than his tongue

Did make offense, his eye did heal it up.

He is not very tall—yet for his years he’s tall.

His leg is but so-so—and yet ’tis well.

There was a pretty redness in his lip,

A little riper and more lusty (deep) red

Than that mixed in his cheek: ’twas just the difference

Betwixt the constant red and mingled (red and white mixed) damask.

There be some women, Silvius, had they marked him

In parcels as I did, would have gone near

To fall in love with him, but for my part

I love him not nor hate him not, and, yet,

I have more cause to hate him than to love him,

For what had he to do to chide at me?

He said mine eyes were black and my hair black

And, now I am remembered, scorned at me.

I marvel why I answered not again,

But that’s all one: omittance is no quittance.
law: failure to assert a claim does not imply renunciation of the claim

I’ll write to him a very taunting letter,

And thou shalt bear it. Wilt thou, Silvius?

 

SILVIUS

Phoebe, with all my heart.

 

PHOEBE

I’ll write it straight[away].

The matter’s in my head and in my heart.

I will be bitter with him and passing (surpassingly) short (curt).

Go with me, Silvius.

Exeunt

Act 4. Scene 1. The forest

 

Enter ROSALINDCELIA, and JAQUES

 

JAQUES

I prithee, pretty youth, let me be better acquainted with thee.

 

ROSALIND

They say you are a melancholy fellow.

 

JAQUES

I am so. I do love it better than laughing.

 

ROSALIND

Those that are in extremity of either are abominable fellows and betray themselves to every modern censure worse than drunkards.

 

JAQUES

Why, ’tis good to be sad and say nothing.

 

ROSALIND

Why then, ’tis good to be a post.

 

JAQUES

I have neither the scholar’s melancholy, which is emulation, nor the musician’s, which is fantastical (fanciful), nor the courtier’s, which is proud, nor the soldier’s, which is ambitious, nor the lawyer’s, which is politic[al], nor the lady’s, which is nice (fastidious), nor the lover’s, which is all these, but it (my melancholy) is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and, indeed, the sundry (varying) contemplation of my travels, in which my often (frequent) rumination wraps me in a most humorous (moody) sadness.

 

ROSALIND

A traveler. By my faith, you have great reason to be sad. I fear you have sold your own lands to see other men’s. Then, to have seen much and to have nothing is to have rich eyes and poor hands.

 

JAQUES

Yes (to the contrary), I have gained [from] my experience.

 

ROSALIND

And your experience makes you sad. I had rather have a fool to make me merry than experience to make me sad— and to travel for it, too!

Enter ORLANDO

 

ORLANDO

Good day and happiness, dear Rosalind.


JAQUES

Nay, then, God be wi' you (I’ll say goodbye) an (if) you talk in blank verse.
(Jaques’ joke – most of the play is written in blank verse)

 

ROSALIND

Farewell, Monsieur Traveler. Look you lisp and wear strange suits, disable (belittle) all the benefits of your own country, be out of love with your nativity, and almost chide God for making you that countenance you are, or I will scarce think you have swum (ridden) in a gondola.

Exit JAQUES

(as Ganymede pretending to be ROSALIND ) Why, how now, Orlando, where have you been all this while? You a lover? An (if) you serve me such another trick, never come in my sight more.

 

ORLANDO

My fair Rosalind, I come within an hour of my promise.

 

ROSALIND

Break an hour’s promise in love? He that will divide a minute into a thousand parts and break but a part of the thousandth part of a minute in the affairs of love, it may be said of him that Cupid hath clapped him o' th' shoulder (given him a glancing blow), but I’ll warrant him heart-whole.
(he has not really given his heart away)

 

ORLANDO

Pardon me, dear Rosalind.

 

ROSALIND

Nay, an (if) you be so tardy, come no more in my sight. I had as lief (soon) be wooed of (by) a snail.

 

ORLANDO

Of a snail?

 

ROSALIND

Ay, of a snail, for, though he comes slowly, he carries his house on his head—a better jointure (offer), I think, than you make a woman. Besides, he brings his destiny with him.

 

ORLANDO

What’s that?

 

ROSALIND

Why, horns, which “such as you” are fain (inclined) to be beholding to your wives for. But he comes armed in his fortune (with horns already) and prevents the slander of his wife.
(horns are a sign of a wife’s infidelity)
(snails already have horns, so the wife cannot add to them and thereby incur her husband’s disgrace)

ORLANDO

Virtue is no hornmaker, and my Rosalind is virtuous.

 

ROSALIND

And I am your Rosalind.

 

CELIA

(as Aliena) It pleases him to call you so, but he hath a

Rosalind of a better leer (look) than you.

 

ROSALIND

Come, woo me, woo me, for now I am in a holiday humor (mood) and like[ly] enough to consent. What would you say to me now, an (if) I were your very (truly), very Rosalind?

 

ORLANDO

I would kiss before I spoke.

 

ROSALIND

Nay, you were better speak first, and, when you were graveled (run aground on a shoal) for lack of matter, you might take occasion to kiss. Very good orators, when they are out [of anything to say], they will spit, and, for lovers lacking—God warn (defend) us—matter, the cleanliest (most hygienic) shift is to kiss.

 

ORLANDO

How if the kiss be denied?

 

ROSALIND

Then she puts you to entreaty (begging), and there begins new matter [for discussion].

 

ORLANDO

Who could be out [of words], being before his beloved mistress?

 

ROSALIND

Marry (by the Virgin Mary), that should (would be) you, if I were your mistress, or I should think my honesty ranker (of less value) than my wit.

 

ORLANDO

What of my suit (appeal)?

 

ROSALIND

Not out of your apparel (suit of clothes) and yet out of your suit. Am not I your Rosalind?

 

ORLANDO

I take some joy to say you are, because I would be talking of her.

 

ROSALIND

Well, in her person I say I will not have you.

 

ORLANDO

Then, in mine own person I die.

 

ROSALIND

No, faith, die by attorney (proxy). The poor world is almost six thousand years old (so thought in 1600 CE), and in all this time there was not any man died in his own person, videlicet (that is to say), in a love cause. Troilus had his brains dashed out with a Grecian club, yet he did what he could to die before, and he is one of the patterns of love. Leander, he would have lived many a fair year though Hero had turned nun if it had not been for a hot midsummer night, for, good youth, he went but forth to wash him in the Hellespont (now called the Dardanelles) and, being taken with the cramp, was drowned, and the foolish chroniclers of that age found it was (arrived at the verdict that it was) Hero of Sestos, but these are all lies. Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love.

 

ORLANDO

I would not have my right (real) Rosalind of this mind (thinking this way), for, I protest, her frown might kill me.

 

ROSALIND

By this hand (truthfully), it will not kill a fly. But come. Now I will be your Rosalind in a more coming-on disposition, and, ask me what you will, I will grant it.

 

ORLANDO

Then love me, Rosalind.

 

ROSALIND

Yes, faith, will I, Fridays and Saturdays and all.
(fast days and feast days and all days)

 

ORLANDO

And wilt thou have me?

 

ROSALIND

Ay, and twenty such (twenty other men like you).

 

ORLANDO

What sayest thou?

 

ROSALIND

Are you not good?

 

ORLANDO

I hope so.

 

ROSALIND

Why, then, can one desire too much of a good thing?— Come, sister, you shall be the priest and marry us.—Give me your hand, Orlando.—What do you say, sister?

 

ORLANDO

Pray thee, marry us.

 

CELIA

I cannot say the words.

 

ROSALIND

You must begin “Will you, Orlando—”

 

CELIA

Go to.—Will you, Orlando, have to wife this Rosalind?

 

ORLANDO

I will.

 

ROSALIND

Ay, but when?

 

ORLANDO

Why, now, as fast as she can marry us.

 

ROSALIND

Then you must say, “I take thee, Rosalind, for wife.”

 

ORLANDO

I take thee, Rosalind, for wife.

 

ROSALIND

I might ask you for your commission, but I do take thee, Orlando, for my husband. There’s a girl goes before the priest, and certainly a woman’s thought runs before her actions.

 

ORLANDO

So do all thoughts. They are winged.

 

ROSALIND

Now tell me how long you would have her after you have possessed her.

 

ORLANDO

Forever and a day.

 

ROSALIND

Say “a day” without the “ever.” No, no, Orlando, men are April when they woo, December when they wed. Maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are wives. I will be more jealous of thee than a Barbary cock-pigeon over his hen, more clamorous than a parrot against (in anticipation of) rain, more newfangled (fond of new things) than an ape, more giddy in my desires than a monkey. I will weep for nothing, like Diana in the fountain, and I will do that when you are disposed to be merry. I will laugh like a hyena and that when thou art inclined to sleep.

 

ORLANDO

But will my Rosalind do so?

 

ROSALIND

By my life, she will do as I do.

 

ORLANDO

Oh, but she is wise.

 

ROSALIND

Or else she could not have the wit to do this. The wiser, the waywarder. Make (lock) the doors upon a woman’s wit, and it will out at the casement. Shut that, and ’twill out at the keyhole. Stop that, ’twill fly with the smoke out at the chimney.

 

ORLANDO

A man that had a wife with such a wit, he might say, “Wit, whither wilt? (where are you going)”

 

ROSALIND

Nay, you might keep [to yourself] that check (restraint) for it till you met your wife’s wit going to your neighbor’s bed.

 

ORLANDO

And what wit could [a] wit have to excuse that?

 

ROSALIND

Marry, to say she came to seek you there. You shall never take her without her answer unless you take her without her tongue. Oh, that woman that cannot make her fault her husband’s occasion (fault), let her never nurse her child herself, for she will breed it like a fool.

 

ORLANDO

For these [coming] two hours, Rosalind, I will leave thee.

 

ROSALIND

Alas, dear love, I cannot lack (spare) thee two hours.

 

ORLANDO

I must attend the Duke at dinner. By two o'clock I will be with thee again.

 

ROSALIND

Ay, go your ways, go your ways. I knew what you would prove [false]. My friends told me as much, and I thought no less. That flattering tongue of yours won me. 'Tis but [another] one cast away, and so, come, death. Two o'clock is your hour?

 

ORLANDO

Ay, sweet Rosalind.

 

ROSALIND

By my troth (truth) and in good earnest, and so God mend (improve) me, and, by all pretty oaths that are not dangerous, if you break one jot of your promise or come one minute behind your hour, I will think you the most pathetical break-promise and the most hollow lover and the most unworthy of her you call Rosalind that may be chosen out of the gross band of the unfaithful. Therefore, beware my censure, and keep your promise.

 

ORLANDO

With no less religion than if thou wert indeed my Rosalind.

So, adieu.

 

ROSALIND

Well, time is the old justice that examines all such offenders, and let time try (time will tell what kind of a man you are). Adieu.

Exit ORLANDO

 

CELIA

You have simply misused our sex in your love-prate (love-talk). We must have your doublet and hose plucked over your head and show the world what the bird hath done to her own nest.

 

ROSALIND

O coz, coz, coz, my pretty little coz, that thou didst know how many fathom deep I am in love, but it cannot be sounded (ascertained). My affection hath an unknown bottom, like the Bay of Portugal.

 

CELIA

Or, rather, bottomless, [so] that as fast as you pour affection in, it runs out.

 

ROSALIND

No, that same wicked bastard of Venus (Cupid) that was begot of thought, conceived of spleen (impulse), and born of madness, that blind rascally boy (Cupid) that abuses (deceives) everyone’s eyes because his own are out, let him be judge how deep I am in love. I’ll tell thee, Aliena, I cannot be out of the sight of Orlando. I’ll go find a shadow and sigh till he come.

 

CELIA

And I’ll sleep.

Exeunt


 

Act 4. Scene 2. The forest

 

Enter JAQUES and LORDS, like foresters

 

JAQUES

Which is he that killed the deer?

 

FIRST LORD

Sir, it was I.

 

JAQUES

Let’s present him to the Duke like a Roman conqueror. And it would do well to set the deer’s horns upon his head for a branch of victory.—Have you no song, forester, for this purpose?

 

SECOND LORD

Yes, sir.

 

JAQUES

Sing it. 'Tis no matter how it be in tune, so it make noise enough.

 

SECOND LORD

(sings)

What shall he have that killed the deer?

[give him] His leather skin and horns to wear.

Then sing [this song to send] him home.

(The rest shall bear this burden.)
(the other lords pick up the deer)

Take thou no scorn to wear the horn.

It was a crest ere thou wast born.

Thy father’s father wore it,

And thy father bore it.

The horn, the horn, the lusty horn

Is not a thing to laugh to scorn (to be laughed at or scorned).

Exeunt


 

Act 4. Scene 3. The forest

 

Enter ROSALIND and CELIA

 

ROSALIND

How say you now? Is it not past two o'clock? And here much Orlando (a fat lot we see of Orlando).

 

CELIA

I warrant (assure) you, with pure love and troubled brain he hath ta'en his bow and arrows and is gone forth to sleep.

Enter SILVIUS

Look who comes here.

 

SILVIUS

(to ROSALIND) My errand is to you, fair youth.

My gentle (gentlemanly) Phoebe did bid me give you this.

I know not the contents, but, as I guess

By the stern brow and waspish action

Which she did use as she was writing of it,

It bears an angry tenor. Pardon me.

I am but as a guiltless messenger.

(Gives the letter)

 

ROSALIND

(Examines the letter) (as Ganymede) Patience herself would startle at this letter

And play the swaggerer (become feisty). Bear this, bear all.

She says I am not fair, that I lack manners.

She calls me proud and that she could not love me

Were man as rare as phoenix. 'Od’s (God save) my will,
(phoenix – a mythical bird that lived a long life, burned itself up on a funeral pyre, and then rose from the ashes to live again)

Her love is not the hare that I do hunt.

Why writes she so to me? Well, shepherd (Silvius), well,

This is a letter of your own device.
(Silvius, you wrote this letter)

 

SILVIUS

No, I protest, I know not the contents.

Phoebe did write it.

 

ROSALIND

Come, come, you are a fool

And turned (driven) into the extremity of love.

I saw her hand. She has a leathern hand,

A freestone-colored (sandstone-colored) hand. I verily did think

That her old gloves were on, but ’twas her hands.

She has a housewife’s hand—but that’s no matter.

I say she never did invent (write) this letter.

This is a man’s invention and his hand[writing].

 

SILVIUS

Sure, it is hers.

 

ROSALIND

Why, ’tis a boisterous and a cruel style,

A style for challengers. Why, she defies me

Like Turk to Christian. Women’s gentle brain

Could not drop forth such giant-rude invention,

Such Ethiop words, blacker (harsher) in their effect

Than in their countenance (on their face). Will you hear the letter?

 

SILVIUS

So please you, for I never heard it yet,

Yet heard too much of Phoebe’s cruelty.

 

ROSALIND

She Phoebes me. Mark how the tyrant writes.

(reads) “Art thou god to shepherd turned (a god turned into a shepherd)

That a maiden’s heart hath burned?”

Can a woman rail (rant) thus?

 

ROSALIND

(reads)

“Why, thy godhead laid apart (set to one side),

Warr’st (battle) thou with a woman’s heart?”

(Did you ever hear such railing (ranting)?)

“Whiles the eye of man did woo me,

That could do no vengeance to me.”
(the eye of man could do me no harm)

(Meaning me a beast)
(only a beast could cause such harm)

"If the scorn of your bright eyne (eyes)

Have power to raise such love in mine,

Alack, in me what strange effect

Would they work in mild aspect!
(if scorn has such an effect, what would mildness do?)

Whiles you chid me, I did love.

How, then, might your prayers move (be even more powerful)!

He that brings this love to thee (carries this letter)

Little knows this love in me,

And by him (sending a response by the same messenger) seal up thy mind,
(seal the envelope with your thoughts in it and send it to me)

Whether that thy youth and kind (character)

Will the faithful offer take

Of me and all that I can make [offer of],

Or else by him (by the same messenger) my love deny (reject).

And [if deny] then I'll study how to die."

 

SILVIUS

Call you this chiding?

 

CELIA

(as Aliena) Alas, poor shepherd.

 

ROSALIND

Do you pity him? No, he deserves no pity.—Wilt thou love such a woman? What, to make thee an instrument and play false strains upon thee? Not to be endured. Well, go your way to her, for I see love hath made thee a tame snake, and say this to her: that if she love me, I charge her to love thee; if she will not, I will never have her unless thou entreat for her. If you be a true lover, hence and not a word, for here comes more company.

Exit SILVIUS

Enter OLIVER

 

OLIVER

Good morrow, fair ones. Pray you, if you know,

Where in the purlieus (edges) of this forest stands

A sheepcote (shepherd’s cottage) fenced about with olive trees?

 

CELIA

(as Aliena)

West of this place, down in the neighbor bottom (valley),

The rank of osiers (willows) by the murmuring stream

Left on your right hand brings you to the place.

But at this hour the house doth keep itself.

There’s none within.

 

OLIVER

If that an eye may profit by a tongue,

Then should I know you by description.

Such garments and such years. “The boy is fair,

Of female favor, and bestows himself

Like a ripe sister, the woman low

And browner than her brother.” Are not you

The owner of the house I did inquire for?

 

CELIA

It is no boast, being asked, to say we are.

 

OLIVER

Orlando doth commend him to you both,

And to that youth he calls his Rosalind

He sends this bloody napkin (handkerchief). Are you he?

 

ROSALIND

(as Ganymede) I am. What must we understand by this?

 

OLIVER

Some of my shame, if you will know of me

What man I am and how and why and where

This handkercher was stained.

 

CELIA

I pray you, tell it.

 

OLIVER

When last the young Orlando parted from you,

He left a promise to return again

Within an hour, and, pacing through the forest,

Chewing the food of sweet and bitter fancy,

Lo, what befell. He threw his eye aside,

And mark what object did present itself:

Under an old oak, whose [low] boughs were mossed with age

And high top bald with dry antiquity,

A wretched, ragged man, o'ergrown with hair,

Lay sleeping on his back. About his neck

A green and gilded (golden) snake had wreathed itself,

Who with her head, nimble in threats (threateningly), approached

The opening of his mouth. But suddenly,

Seeing Orlando, it unlinked itself

And, with indented (zigzag) glides, did slip away

Into a bush, under which bush’s shade

A lioness, with udders all drawn (nursed) dry,

Lay couching, head on ground, with catlike watch

When that the sleeping man should stir, for ’tis

The royal disposition of that beast

To prey on nothing that doth seem as dead.

This [having] seen, Orlando did approach the man

And found it was his brother, his elder brother.

 

CELIA

Oh, I have heard him speak of that same brother,

And he did render him the most unnatural (inhumane)

That lived amongst men.

 

OLIVER

And well he might so do,

For well I know he was unnatural.

 

ROSALIND

But to Orlando - did he leave him there,

Food to the sucked and hungry lioness?

 

OLIVER

Twice did he turn his back and purposed so (intended to leave him),

But kindness, nobler ever than revenge,

And nature, stronger than his just occasion (opportunity to dispense justice),

Made him give battle to the lioness,

Who quickly fell before him, in which hurtling (tumult),

From miserable slumber I awaked.

 

CELIA

Are you his brother?

 

ROSALIND

Was ’t you he rescued?

 

CELIA

Was ’t you that did so oft contrive to kill him?

 

OLIVER

'Twas I, but ’tis not I. I do not shame

To tell you what I was, since my conversion

So sweetly tastes, being the thing I am.

 

ROSALIND

But for the bloody napkin (handkerchief)?

 

OLIVER

By and by.

When from the first to last betwixt us two

Tears our recountments (stories) had most kindly bathed—

As how I came into that desert place—

In brief, he led me to the gentle (gentlemanly) duke,

Who gave me fresh array (clothing) and entertainment (hospitality),

Committing me unto my brother’s love,

Who led me instantly unto his cave,

There stripped himself, and here upon his arm

The lioness had torn some flesh away,

Which all this while had bled, and now he fainted

And cried in fainting upon Rosalind.

Brief (soon), I recovered (revived) him, bound up his wound,

And, after some small space, being strong at heart,

He sent me hither, stranger as I am,

To tell this story [so] that you might excuse

His broken promise, and to give this napkin (handkerchief)

Dyed in his blood unto the shepherd youth

That he in sport doth call his Rosalind.

ROSALIND swoons

 

CELIA

Why, how now, Ganymede, sweet Ganymede?

 

OLIVER

Many will swoon when they do look on blood.

 

CELIA

There is more in it (reason for it).—Cousin Ganymede.

 

OLIVER

Look, he recovers.

 

ROSALIND

I would (wish) I were at home.

 

CELIA

We’ll lead you thither.

—I pray you, will you take him by the arm?

 

OLIVER

Be of good cheer, youth. You a man? You lack a man’s heart.

 

ROSALIND

I do so, I confess it. Ah, sirrah, a body would think this was well-counterfeited (faked). I pray you tell your brother how well I counterfeited. Heigh-ho.

 

OLIVER

This was not counterfeit. There is too great testimony in your complexion that it was a passion of (in) earnest.

 

ROSALIND

Counterfeit, I assure you.

 

OLIVER

Well, then, take a good heart and counterfeit to be a man.

 

ROSALIND

So I do, but, i' faith, I should have been a woman by right.

 

CELIA

Come, you look paler and paler. Pray you, draw homewards.—Good sir, go with us.

 

OLIVER

That will I, for I must bear answer back

How you excuse my brother, Rosalind.

 

ROSALIND

I shall devise something, but I pray you commend my counterfeiting to him. Will you go?

Exeunt


 

Act 5. Scene 1. The forest

 

Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY

 

TOUCHSTONE

We shall find a time, Audrey. Patience, gentle Audrey.

 

AUDREY

Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old gentleman’s saying.

 

TOUCHSTONE

A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile Martext, but, Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest lays claim to you.

 

AUDREY

Ay, I know who ’tis. He hath no interest in me in the world.

Enter WILLIAM

Here comes the man you mean.

 

TOUCHSTONE

It is meat and drink to me to see a clown (country bumpkin). By my troth, we that have good wits have much to answer for. We shall be flouting (insulting). We cannot hold [ourselves back].

 

WILLIAM

Good ev'n, Audrey.

 

AUDREY

God gi' good ev'n, William.

 

WILLIAM

And good ev'n to you, sir.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Good ev'n, gentle friend. Cover thy head (put your hat back on), cover thy head.

Nay, prithee, be covered. How old are you, friend?

 

WILLIAM

Five-and-twenty, sir.

 

TOUCHSTONE

A ripe age. Is thy name William?

 

WILLIAM

William, sir.

 

TOUCHSTONE

A fair name. Wast born i' th' forest here?

 

WILLIAM

Ay, sir, I thank God

 

TOUCHSTONE

“Thank God.” A good answer. Art rich?

 

WILLIAM

'Faith, sir, so-so.

 

TOUCHSTONE

“So-so” is good, very good, very excellent good. And yet it is not - it is but so-so. Art thou wise?

 

WILLIAM

Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Why, thou sayst well. I do now remember a saying: “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth, meaning, thereby, that grapes were made to eat and lips to open. You do love this maid?

 

WILLIAM

I do, sir.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Give me your hand. Art thou learned?

 

WILLIAM

No, sir.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Then learn this of me: to have is to have. For it is a figure in rhetoric that drink, being poured out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty the other, for all your writers do consent that ipse (Latin – himself) is “he.” Now, you are not ipse, for I am he.

 

WILLIAM

Which he, sir?

 

TOUCHSTONE

He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you clown, abandon—which is, in the vulgar, “leave”—the society—which in the boorish is “company”—of this female—which in the common is “woman”, which together is, abandon the society of this female or, clown, thou perishest or, to thy better understanding, diest or, to wit, I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage. I will deal in poison with thee or in bastinado (a club) or in steel. I will bandy with thee in faction (argument). I will o'errun thee with policy (craftiness). I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways. Therefore, tremble and depart.

 

AUDREY

Do, good William.

 

WILLIAM

God rest you merry, sir.

Exit

Enter CORIN

 

CORIN

Our master and mistress seeks you. Come away, away.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Trip (hurry), Audrey, trip, Audrey.—I attend, I attend.

Exeunt


 

Act 5. Scene 2. The forest

 

Enter ORLANDO and OLIVER

 

ORLANDO

Is ’t possible that on so little acquaintance you should like her? That, but seeing, you should love her? And loving, woo? And wooing, she should grant? And will you persevere to enjoy her?

 

OLIVER

Neither call the giddiness of it in question, the poverty of her, the small acquaintance, my sudden wooing, nor her sudden consenting, but say with me, “I love Aliena”, say with her that she loves me, consent with both that we may enjoy each other. It shall be to your good, for my father’s house and all the revenue that was old Sir Rowland’s will I estate upon you, and here live and die a shepherd.

 

ORLANDO

You have my consent. Let your wedding be tomorrow.

Thither will I invite the duke and all’s contented followers.

Go you and prepare Aliena, for, look you, here comes my

Rosalind (as in the “play” she was called).

Enter ROSALIND

 

ROSALIND

(as Ganymede) God save you, brother.
brother=brother-in-law to be

 

OLIVER

And you, fair sister.
sister=sister-in-law to be (identity in the “play”)

Exit

 

ROSALIND

O, my dear Orlando, how it grieves me to see thee wear thy heart in a scarf.

 

ORLANDO

It is my arm.

 

ROSALIND

I thought thy heart had been wounded with the claws of a lion.

 

ORLANDO

Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady.

 

ROSALIND

Did your brother tell you how I counterfeited to swoon when he showed me your handkercher?

 

ORLANDO

Ay, and greater wonders than that.

 

ROSALIND

Oh, I know where you are. Nay, ’tis true. There was never anything so sudden but the fight of two rams and Caesar’s thrasonical (bragging, after Thraso, a bragging soldier) brag of “I came, saw, and overcame.” For your brother and my sister no sooner met but they looked, no sooner looked but they loved, no sooner loved but they sighed, no sooner sighed but they asked one another the reason, no sooner knew the reason but they sought the remedy, and in these degrees have they made a pair of stairs to marriage, which they will climb incontinent (unrestrained) or else be incontinent before marriage. They are in the very wrath of love, and they will together (are determined to be united). Clubs cannot part them.

 

ORLANDO

They shall be married tomorrow, and I will bid the duke to the nuptial, but, oh, how bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man’s eyes. By so much the more shall I tomorrow be at the height of heart-heaviness, by how much I shall think my brother happy in having what he wishes for.

 

ROSALIND

Why, then, tomorrow I cannot serve your turn for Rosalind (play the part of Rosalind)?

 

ORLANDO

I can live no longer by thinking (play-acting).

 

ROSALIND

I will weary you then no longer with idle talking. Know of me then—for now I speak to some purpose—that I know you are a gentleman of good conceit. I speak not this that you should bear a good opinion of my knowledge, insomuch I say I know you are. Neither do I labor for a greater esteem than may in some little measure draw a belief from you to do yourself good, and not to grace me. Believe, then, if you please, that I can do strange things. I have, since I was three year old, conversed with a magician, most profound in his art and yet not damnable. If you do love Rosalind so near the heart as your gesture cries it out, when your brother marries Aliena [then] shall you marry her. I know into what straits of fortune she is driven, and it is not impossible to me, if it appear not inconvenient to you, to set her before your eyes tomorrow, human as she is, and without any danger.

 

ORLANDO

Speak’st thou in sober meanings?

 

ROSALIND

By my life I do, which I tender dearly, though I say I am a magician. Therefore, put you in your best array, bid your friends, for, if you will be (wish to be) married tomorrow, you shall - and to Rosalind, if you will.

Enter SILVIUS and PHOEBE

Look, here comes a lover of mine and a lover of hers.

 

PHOEBE

Youth, you have done me much ungentleness (impropriety)

To show the letter that I writ to you.

 

ROSALIND

I care not if I have. It is my study

To seem despiteful and ungentle to you.

You are there followed by a faithful shepherd.

Look upon him, love him. He worships you.

 

PHOEBE

Good shepherd, tell this youth what ’tis to love.

 

SILVIUS

It is to be all made of sighs and tears,

And so am I for Phoebe.

 

PHOEBE

And I for Ganymede.

 

ORLANDO

And I for Rosalind.

 

ROSALIND

And I for no woman.

 

SILVIUS

It is to be all made of faith and service,

And so am I for Phoebe.

 

PHOEBE

And I for Ganymede.

 

ORLANDO

And I for Rosalind.

 

ROSALIND

And I for no woman.

 

SILVIUS

It is to be all made of fantasy,

All made of passion and all made of wishes,

All adoration, duty, and observance,

All humbleness, all patience and impatience,

All purity, all trial, all observance,

And so am I for Phoebe.

 

PHOEBE

And so am I for Ganymede.

 

ORLANDO

And so am I for Rosalind.

 

ROSALIND

And so am I for no woman.

 

PHOEBE

If this be so, why blame you me to love you?

 

SILVIUS

If this be so, why blame you me to love you?

 

ORLANDO

If this be so, why blame you me to love you?

 

ROSALIND

Why do you speak, too, “Why blame you me to love you?”?

 

ORLANDO

To her that is not here, nor doth not hear.

 

ROSALIND

Pray you, no more of this. 'Tis like the howling of Irish wolves against the moon. (to SILVIUS) I will help you, if I can. (to PHOEBE) I would love you if I could.—Tomorrow meet me all together. (to PHOEBEI will marry you if ever I marry woman, and I’ll be married tomorrow. (to ORLANDO) I will satisfy you if ever I satisfy man, and you shall be married tomorrow. (to SILVIUS) I will content you, if what pleases you contents you, and you shall be married tomorrow. (to ORLANDO) As you love Rosalind, meet. (to SILVIUSAs you love Phoebe, meet.—And as I love no woman, I’ll meet. So fare you well. I have left you commands.

 

SILVIUS

I’ll not fail, if I live.

 

PHOEBE

Nor I.

 

ORLANDO

Nor I.

Exeunt


 

Act 5. Scene 3. The forest

 

Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY

 

TOUCHSTONE

Tomorrow is the joyful day, Audrey. Tomorrow will we be married.

 

AUDREY

I do desire it with all my heart, and I hope it is no dishonest desire to desire to be a woman of the world.

Enter two PAGES

Here comes two of the banished duke’s pages.

 

FIRST PAGE

Well met, honest gentleman.

 

TOUCHSTONE

By my troth, well met. Come, sit, sit, and a song.

 

SECOND PAGE

We are for you. Sit i' th' middle.

 

FIRST PAGE

Shall we clap into ’t roundly, without hawking or spitting or saying we are hoarse, which are the only prologues to a bad voice?

 

SECOND PAGE

I' faith, i' faith, and both in a tune (in unison) like two gypsies on a horse.

 

PAGES

(sing)

It was a lover and his lass,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey-nonny-no,

That o'er the green cornfield did pass

In springtime, the only pretty ring time,

When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding.

Sweet lovers love the spring

Between the acres of the rye,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey-nonny-no,

These pretty country folks would lie

In springtime, the only pretty ring time,

When birds do sing, Hey ding a ding, ding.

Sweet lovers love the spring.

This carol (song) they began that hour

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey hey-nonny-no,

How that a life was but a flower

In springtime, the only pretty ring time,

When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding.

Sweet lovers love the spring.

And, therefore, take the present time

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey hey-nonny-no,

For love is crownèd with the prime (with perfection)

In springtime, the only pretty ring time,

When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding.

Sweet lovers love the spring.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Truly, young gentlemen, though there was no great matter in the ditty, yet the note (melody) was very untenable (out of tune).

 

FIRST PAGE

You are deceived, sir. We kept time. We lost not our time.

 

TOUCHSTONE

By my troth, yes. I count it but time lost to hear such a foolish song. God be wi' you, and God mend your voices.— Come, Audrey.

Exeunt


 

Act 5. Scene 4. The forest

 

Enter DUKE SENIORAMIENSJAQUES, ORLANDOOLIVER, and CELIA

 

DUKE SENIOR

Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy

Can do all this that he hath promisèd?

 

ORLANDO

I sometimes do believe and sometimes do not,

As those that fear they hope [only] and know they fear.
(Like those who fear that their hope is a hope only, having only the certainty of their apprehensiveness)

Enter ROSALINDSILVIUS, and PHOEBE

 

ROSALIND

(as Ganymede) Patience once more whiles our compact is urged.
(be patient a bit longer while I go over the terms of our agreement)

(to DUKE SENIOR ) You say, if I bring in your Rosalind,

You will bestow her on Orlando here?

 

DUKE SENIOR

That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her.

 

ROSALIND

(to ORLANDO ) And you say you will have her when I bring her?

 

ORLANDO

That would I, were I of all kingdoms king.

 

ROSALIND

(to PHOEBE ) You say you’ll marry me if I be willing?

 

PHOEBE

That will I, should I die the hour after.

 

ROSALIND

But if you do refuse to marry me,

You’ll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd?

 

PHOEBE

So is the bargain.

 

ROSALIND

(to SILVIUS ) You say that you’ll have Phoebe if she will?

 

SILVIUS

Though to have her and death were both one thing.

 

ROSALIND

I have promised to make all this matter even.

Keep you your word, O Duke, to give your daughter,

—You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter.

—Keep your word, Phoebe, that you’ll marry me

Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd.

—Keep your word, Silvius, that you’ll marry her

If she refuse me. And from hence I go

To make these doubts all even.

Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA

 

DUKE SENIOR

I do remember in this shepherd boy

Some lively (lifelike) touches of my daughter’s favor (appearance).

 

ORLANDO

My lord, the first time that I ever saw him

Methought he was a brother to your daughter,

But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born

And hath been tutored in the rudiments

Of many desperate (dangerous) studies by his uncle,

Whom he reports to be a great magician

Obscurèd in the circle of this forest.

Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY

 

JAQUES

There is sure another flood toward (upcoming), and these couples are coming to the ark (Noah’s ark). Here comes a pair of very strange beasts, which in all tongues (languages) are called fools.

 

TOUCHSTONE

Salutation and greeting to you all.

 

JAQUES

Good my lord, bid him welcome. This is the motley-minded gentleman that I have so often met in the forest. He hath been a courtier, he swears.

 

TOUCHSTONE

If any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation (trial). I have trod (danced) a measure. I have flattered a lady. I have been politic (shrewd) with my friend, smooth (suave) with mine enemy. I have undone (bankrupted – by not paying) three tailors. I have had four quarrels and like to have fought one (almost got in a fight).

 

JAQUES

And how was that ta'en up (settled)?

 

TOUCHSTONE

Faith, we met and found the quarrel was upon the seventh cause.

 

JAQUES

How “seventh cause”?—Good my lord, [I hope that you] like this fellow.

 

DUKE SENIOR

I like him very well.

 

TOUCHSTONE

God 'ild (yield=reward) you, sir. I desire you of the like (I wish the same to you). I press in here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives (couples), to swear and to forswear (break one’s word), according as marriage binds and blood (“the flesh”) breaks. A poor virgin, sir, an ill-favored thing, sir, but mine own. A poor humor of mine, sir, to take that that no man else will. Rich honesty dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor house, as your pearl in your foul oyster.

 

DUKE SENIOR

By my faith, he is very swift and sententious (wise and witty).

 

TOUCHSTONE

According to the fool’s bolt (arrow), sir, and such dulcet diseases (sweet pastimes).
(“a fool’s bolt is soon shot”)

 

JAQUES

But for the seventh cause. How did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause?

 

TOUCHSTONE

Upon a lie seven times removed.—Bear your body more seeming, Audrey.—As thus, sir: I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier’s beard. He sent me word if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was. This is called “the retort courteous.” If I sent him word again it was not well cut, he would send me word he cut it to please himself. This is called “the quip modest.” If again it was not well cut, he disabled my judgment. This is called “the reply churlish.” If again it was not well cut, he would answer I spake not true. This is called “the reproof valiant.” If again it was not well cut, he would say I lie. This is called “the countercheck quarrelsome,” and so to “the lie circumstantial” and “the lie direct.”

 

JAQUES

And how oft did you say his beard was not well cut?

 

TOUCHSTONE

I durst go no further than the lie circumstantial, nor he durst not give me the lie direct, and so we measured swords [in case we used them in a duel] and parted.

 

JAQUES

Can you nominate [again] in order now the degrees (steps) of the lie?

 

TOUCHSTONE

O sir, we quarrel in print, by the book, [just] as you have books for good manners. I will name you the degrees: the first, “the retort courteous”; the second, “the quip modest”; the third, “the reply churlish”; the fourth, “the reproof valiant”; the fifth, “the countercheque quarrelsome”; the sixth, “the lie with circumstance”; the seventh, “the lie direct.” All these you may avoid but the lie direct, and you may avoid that, too, with an “if.” I knew (have known) when seven justices could not take ups (resolve) a quarrel, but, when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an “if,” as: “If you said so, then I said so,” and they shook hands and swore [themselves] brothers. Your “if” is the only peacemaker - much virtue in “if.”

 

JAQUES

Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? He’s as good at anything and yet a fool.

 

DUKE SENIOR

He uses his folly like a stalking-horse, and, under the presentation (protection) of that, he shoots his wit.
(a hunter hides behind a stalking-horse to get closer to his game)

Enter HYMEN [god of marriage]ROSALIND, and CELIA. Soft music

 

HYMEN

Then is there mirth in heaven

When earthly things, made even (put right),

Atone (reconcile) together.

Good duke, receive thy daughter.

Hymen from heaven brought her,

Yea, brought her hither,

That thou mightst join her hand with his

Whose heart within his bosom is.
(her whose heart . . .)

 

ROSALIND

(to DUKE SENIOR ) To you I give myself, for I am yours.

(to ORLANDO ) To you I give myself, for I am yours.

 

DUKE SENIOR

If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.

 

ORLANDO

If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.

 

PHOEBE

If sight and shape be true,

Why then, my love, adieu.

 

ROSALIND

(to DUKE SENIOR ) I’ll have no father, if you be not he.

(to ORLANDO ) I’ll have no husband, if you be not he,

(to PHOEBE ) Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not she.
(nor ne’er=nor e’er)

 

HYMEN

Peace, ho! I bar confusion.

'Tis I must make conclusion

Of these most strange events.

Here’s eight that must take hands

To join in Hymen’s bands,

If truth holds true contents.

(to ORLANDO and ROSALIND) You and you no cross shall part.

(to OLIVER and CELIA ) You and you are heart in heart.

(to PHOEBE) You to his love must accord

Or have a woman to your lord.

(to TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY) You and you are sure together

As the winter to foul weather.

(to all) Whiles a wedlock hymn we sing,

Feed yourselves with questioning,

That reason wonder may diminish
(so that understanding may diminish wonder)

How thus we met, and these things finish.

(sings)

Wedding is great Juno’s crown,

O blessèd bond of board and bed.

'Tis Hymen peoples every town.

High wedlock then be honorèd.

Honor, high honor, and renown,

To Hymen, god of every town.

 

DUKE SENIOR

O, my dear niece, welcome thou art to me,

Even [with my] daughter, welcome in no less degree.

 

PHOEBE

(to SILVIUS) I will not eat my word. Now thou art mine,

Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine.

Enter JAQUES DE BOYS

 

JAQUES DE BOYS

Let me have audience for a word or two.

I am the second son of old Sir Rowland

That bring these tidings to this fair assembly.

Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day

Men of great worth resorted to this forest,

Addressed (prepared) a mighty power (army), which were on foot

In his own conduct (under his personal command), purposely to take (capture)

His brother here and put him to the sword,

And to the skirts of this wild wood he came

Where, meeting with an old religious man,

After some question with him, was converted

Both from his enterprise and from the world,

His crown bequeathing to his banished brother

And all their lands restored to them again

That were with him exiled. This to be true

I do engage my life.

 

DUKE SENIOR

Welcome, young man.

Thou offer’st fairly (you contribute handsomely) to thy brothers' wedding:

To one (Oliver) his lands withheld, and to the other (Orlando)

A land itself at large, a potent dukedom.

—First, in this forest let us do those ends (accomplish those purposes)

That here were well begun and well begot,

And, after, every [one] of this happy number

That have endured shrewd (hard) days and nights with us

Shall share the good of our returnèd fortune

According to the measure of their states (degree of their ranks).

Meantime, forget this new-fall'n dignity,

And fall into our rustic revelry.

—Play, music—and you brides and bridegrooms all,

With [full] measure heaped in joy to th' measures (dances) fall.

 

JAQUES

Sir, by your patience: if I heard you rightly,

The duke hath put on a religious life

And thrown into neglect the pompous court.

 

JAQUES DE BOYS

He hath.

 

JAQUES

To him will I [go]. Out of these convertites (converts)

There is much matter to be heard and learned.

(to DUKE SENIOR )

You to your former honor I bequeath;

Your patience and your virtue well deserves it.

(to ORLANDO )

You to a love that your true faith doth merit.

(to OLIVER )

You to your land and love and great allies.

(to SILVIUS )

You to a long and well-deservèd bed.

(to TOUCHSTONE )

And you to wrangling, for thy loving voyage

Is but for two months victualed (provisioned).—So to your pleasures.

I am for other than for dancing measures.

 

DUKE SENIOR

Stay, Jaques, stay.

 

JAQUES

To see no pastime, I. What you would have [from me]

I’ll stay to know at your abandoned cave.

Exit

 

DUKE SENIOR

Proceed, proceed. We’ll so begin these rites

As we do trust they’ll end - in true delights.

Dance

Exeunt all but ROSALIND

 


ROSALIND

It is not the fashion to see the lady [give] the epilogue, but it is no more unhandsome than to see the lord [give] the prologue. If it be true that good wine needs no bush (ivy gathered and hung outside to advertise that there is wine within), ’tis true that a good play needs no epilogue. Yet, to good wine they do use good bushes, and good plays prove the better by the help of good epilogues. What a case am I in, then, that am neither a good epilogue nor cannot insinuate with you in the behalf of a good play. I am not furnished (clothed) like a beggar; therefore, to beg will not become me. My way is to conjure (earnestly charge) you, and I’ll begin with the women. I charge you, O women, for the love you bear to men, to like as much of this play as please you, and I charge you, O men, for the love you bear to women— as I perceive by your simpering, none of you hates them— that between you and the women the play may please. If I were a woman (the part of Rosalind was played by a boy), I would kiss as many of you as had beards that pleased me, complexions that liked (pleased) me, and breaths that I defied (disdained) not, and I am sure as many as have good beards or good faces or sweet breaths will, for my kind offer, when I make curtsy, bid me farewell (applaud me).

Exit